Toby.

He did this all by himself. I had no idea he could!

guns are shit

Coming in hot from 2012... (posted eight years later, because why not?)

The past several months have seen me horrified by violent acts against children that have been all over the media. The Krim children murdered by their nanny. The children killed in Newtown. The young boy held hostage in an underground bunker in Alabama.

As all of these horrible things have happened, there has been this debate about guns wafting around as well. I have family members and friends who love their guns, and hate those damn liberals for wanting to take their freedoms. I have watched politicians talk about wanting to protect children and society by passing more regulations, and listened to the debates about responsible gun owners needing to be protected.

I have mostly stayed out of things, because I just don't want to deal with the debate. But I'm just over all of it.

Here is the thing - I absolutely, with deep conviction, despise guns. I think that the glorification of violence has been so rooted in our culture that people are expected to understand that others want to recreationally (and of course safely) fire massive weapons. That mothers get a rush from firing assault rifles on a shooting range, and that people feel safer when they have that handgun (licensed, and educated and all properly in order) in their home.

I call bullshit.

I'm not trying to create a huge debate, because honestly, I don't think I am going to win over anyone. I don't think I have an answer to the problem of violence. I don't think that this is going to get anywhere even with the people that I love who think guns are great.

But I fucking hate guns. I hate explosives. I hate handguns and rifles and shotguns and machine guns. I hate fucking fireworks that symbolically glorify war. I hate that we are, as a society, just fine with allowing the idea of guns and weapons being empowering. Bullshit. It's violence, whether you are shooting at a target shaped like a person or not. The purpose of these weapons is to hurt things. Period. If you are "practicing" then you are functionally honing a skill that has at its very root the purpose of killing things.

I am not a vegetarian. I understand and accept that I eat things that have been killed. But let's be real - even when we are killing animals for food, we are killing. Rifles and shotguns that are kept by those who hunt for the purpose of hunting food are weapons to kill things. Handguns are weapons for killing people. Assault rifles, however the hell you want to define that, are made for the purpose of killing.

It's bullshit.

Yes, take the guns the fuck away. All of the guns. If you feel the need to make an exception for hunters who want to hunt food for eating, well fine. But close the firing ranges, close the skeet clubs, close the gun shows and get the guns the fuck out of our culture. Get rid of the video games that make killing people a sport. Get rid of violent movies, get rid of violent books. Make violence not fucking sexy. It's not cool, it's not OK.

No, I dont really believe if getting rid of everything. I do actually believe in free speech, and freedoms, and that's why I don't have a damn answer to the problem. I am just disgusted by our culture. I am disgusted by the celebration of violence in the military, in the media, in life. I am disheartened that the whole conversation about violence devolved so quickly into "but the liberals are cool with guns, just not all guns and we really don't want crazy people having guns, that's all." That's fucking weak. And it's fucking weak to have the other side bitching and moaning about their freedoms, and no one calling anyone out on the whole glorification of violence that we all participate in all the damn time. And no, I don't  think people need handguns at home, and I don't take the President more seriously if he's into skeet shooting.

I'm pissed at the moment. I read the full recap today of what happened to a boy, exactly the same age WITHIN A DAY of my eldest, who also has Asperger's, when a guy who rants about the government attacked a school bus and took him hostage. The issue here is not having guards to keep others from doing this, it's not trying to keep guns away from crazy people (because defining that is a whole other thing, and the debate around it is also bullshit), it's about changing our culture so that the answer for that guy isn't violence, and isn't so accessible. Yeah, the crazy guy in Norway, I know - but that was a fucking anomaly there, and this other business here - it happens all the damn time.

Summer Update

Today I spent a moment pining for those days of summer in high school when I didn't really have a lot going on and I could read and float around on a raft in my grandparents' pool. I really miss floating around in a quiet pool reading all day, but that would be obvious, no?

I also spent a moment catching my breath and thinking about how I spend my days now. Recently, both of my wee ones have started the same school, with the same drop off and pick up times, five days a week. For the first time in years, I have several uninterrupted hours without a child asking me for something just about every day. Of course, I still have a million and one things to get done, but just having the chance to have a quiet house for three hours straight when I want is joy. Joy!

At the same time that there is this joy, there is actually a lot to get done in a day. Even this morning, I left the house with the boys after making them lunch, and was on a constantly-moving errand running schedule for the next three hours. Bloodowork, shower accessory shopping, FedEx drops (two locations), mini-storage tour, traffic times ten... When I got home, there was work to be done on the computer for wrapping up the Spring fundraiser for the Waldorf school, schedules to be arranged, research on vets to be done, pest control and therapists to call...  And I suppose blogs to write.

At the moment it's only about 2pm, so I feel like I have gotten a good amount done today. At the same time, I still have to figure out dinner, take Henry to dance class, and keep working on the cleaning up and out. I am supposed to be starting a basic whole foods cleanse today, but have not had a chance to get all my ingredients together because Bret had a really awesome last-minute opportunity to go to a bike workshop last night. Good thing the Co-op is open tomorrow! I can catch up a bit.

I've been working on embroidery projects, knitting projects, and other random craftiness. I'm cleaning out the toys, cleaning out the studio, cleaning out my drawers and bedroom - slowly but surely progressing toward that point when we move into the new addition and let the contractors seal off this end of the house and create a master suite for us (complete with walk-in closet and outdoor shower. It is going to be badass!)

We visit our new puppy on Saturday, and get to bring him home Friday, July 20. This addition is welcome, to be sure, but will be extra walks and play (and work, but that will be just fine).

We are back in the eye surgery loop, which will be a LOT of work for a few months, and makes life unpredictable, but then at the same time will eventually make life a lot more simple, and make Toby much happier with his eyes every day.

We have a lot of things happening, and a lot of things getting done. Pans in the fire, and juggling well most of the time. Hopefully I will be checking in here a lot more often soon, because I miss it. I also might start writing more about some other things, but we'll see how that goes.

For now I will just be grumpy about the fireworks that will spew heavy metals all over the fields and lakes and oceans around the USA tonight and tomorrow, and hope not too many folks get burned and blown up. I hate fireworks, which is weird, I know. So I will try to be cheerful about everything else, because even with all the craziness, everything is going great, yay!

Quandary...

As I assess my list of potential projects - baby gifts, grown up gifts, kids gifts, toys, treats, functional pieces... I keep having to pause and ask myself, "Self, will they appreciate the work that has gone into this mighty fine crafty project?" And hence the quandary.

I love making beautiful things for people. LOVE it. But I admit, it breaks my heart to think that something I have poured heart and soul into might get shoved into a corner and then carted off to goodwill.

So, crafters, what are your thoughts? When you send your babies off into the world in all their stitched and pursed and finished glory, does that nagging question get you too? Does it affect how you pick projects and recipients, and does it make you reconsider the complexity level of a project you are sending to a tepid home?

I'm torn. I live the process. I love giving the project away. But I want that spark of live and appreciation when they open thd package. I love that too. *sigh*

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Sent from my iPhone.

http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/

Cheap and (quite nearly) plastic free

I finally made something clever that I discovered on Pinterest. (I'm sure I have made one thing or another at some point since joining ages ago, but this was a full-on, beginning-to-end, Pinterest project.)

I'm in love with my mason jars. I'm in love with my Cuppow, in love with my cozy, more in love with the tote-able cozy I made for Toby's teacher, and generally obsessed with jars and canning.

For me, my Cuppow is just fine for ice water. I can also stick a plastic straw in the spout and it works as a sippy. But my Cuppow, sadly, only comes in wide mouth. My poor little young 'uns with their regular mouth 8oz jelly jars are left to suffer with disposable straw cups when the Klean Kanteens are dirty, they are drinking milk or OJ spiked with fish oil, or when, well, I just don't want a mess.

No more!

I made one nice big top for me. That's what is seen here, because Toby really wanted to share my water. I also made 3 itty bitty regular tops, and Toby enjoyed spill-free milk on the couch this afternoon. I did use a shortened standard straw for him, but I might have to invest in a pack of short stainless straws. My long ones are great, now that I have a real use for them!

At about $0.50 each, the rubber grommets that go into the drilled hole are totally worth it, and I'm loving upcycling used canning lids. Before I return this big fat 3/8" drill bit, it's going to do some more holes!

Kidneys are a pain sometimes.

Last Sunday I was awoken about 4am with excruciating pain in my left side/back. I've been having this sort of pain off and on for about three weeks, but after being treated with antibiotics and getting a clear ultrasound (read, no kidney stones) I had moved on from Lortabs to natural therapies.

After going to Ortho-Bionomy twice, I was feeling quite good really, with almost no pain episodes, and feeling really confident that we were working on getting my organs back into a rhythm of descent/ascent inside my pelvis.

Then Sunday morning hit me like a truck. By 6:00, I decided to wake Bret and talk ER. Rather than waking kids, I drove myself to the hospital. While not something I would suggest, the mile drive early on a Sunday was uneventful, even if painful...

Long story short: triage, CT scan, urologist conversation (8mm stone stuck just above your bladder, surgery?, yes I don't like 30% odds for passage in 2 weeks), admission, and a lot of drugs. Visits from the boys, including amazing cards. Surgery early Monday morning, checked out Monday afternoon.

I had to pull out my stent on Wednesday. See that crazy, long, creepy string? It had the blue curl on up in my kidney, the white curl down in my bladder, and the string taped to my thigh. It was dreadfully uncomfortable.

I'm still achey and a bit cranky, fatigued from all the Percocet for those couple of days, and still astounded that I pulled that huge thing out in the shower three days ago. I'm a little disappointed not to at least HAVE the big old kidney stone to show for all this, but they smashed it with a laser while I was knocked out and took away the pieces. I get to find out what they are made of in a few weeks.

In the meanwhile, we are hanging in there. Not terribly gracefully, but it's ok to be crazy town every now and again, right?

Broomstands

For the record

My husband often feels the brunt of my bad mood/day/week... and honestly, I can be a nagging pain in the ass sometimes. Sometimes he earns it, but more often I'm cranky.
So, because I am genuinely appreciating the fact that while I am about to go to sleep he is doing the dishes (even putting away the clean ones I didn't have time to manage today), I want to say:
Dear, sweet Bret, you are so awesome. I love you. Xoxo
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Sent from my iPhone.
http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/

End of Water Conservation

January and February are the months we conserve water here like crazy people, since they cap the charges for the year based on your usage January-February.

It's March 2. Toby is sick. The kids' room kind of smells funny, and I have no idea why (we do change the sheets, often!). Why, why, why do kids make everything smell so nasty?

Today my water conservation went out the window. I did three loads of laundry on "sanitize" cycle, which takes like 2.5 hours and uses extra hot water. I only washed one set of pajamas. One set of sheets. Three full loads of stuffed animals and lovies. They smell funny and Toby chews most of them. Some I recovered from the playroom, or under the bed. They all needed a really deep clean.

No regrets. I used the heck out of some water today, and I'm hoping things smell better around here tomorrow.

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Sent from my iPhone.

http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/

Awesome.

Wonderful, magical stuff in my house, for my little calf. (Yeah, only Toby. Henry's dairy allergy can't be kicked, even by the awesome enzymes.) I greatly prefer this to the "for pets only" labeling other farms use. Stupid rules. Raw dairy rocks. Seriously.

Updates, or something.

Henry went roller skating for the first time. I got all of last summer's strawberries canned, yay! My cuppow came, and I figured out how to make a cozy out of a sock until I can knit one up that's cute.

Construction started.

I'm trying out acupuncture, which is nice.

I'm actually drinking kombucha regularly, and soda rarely.

We are cooking, all the time.

Bret's about to go on a cruise, and it's freaking me out.

They are screaming for me, and here it goes again...

Wow.

I was cranky earlier.

Phew.

Breathe...

This morning got off to a pretty good start. Our new coffee maker is making yummy coffee -- the other one died unexpectedly. the oats I soaked cooked up in time for breakfast and oatmeal was pretty good, though I need to work on my technique. Henry wanted seconds. He settled for an apple. We made it to speech therapy on time, and Toby was pretty good in the waiting room do I got some paperwork done. The kids ate all the graham crackers I brought for their snack, but we stopped and got them apple juice and I got a little latte. I was all ready for yoga - across town, sure, but it fit the schedule and there is free child care.

And then it hit me.

I forgot my mat.

Oh crap. We are across town. We might be able to go home and get the mat, but the kids are already on the edge of freaking out about going to kids club at the gym - not stoked. Tolerating the idea.

I fumble through obnoxious screens and get the gym on the phone - "do you have yoga mats?!? I forgot mine!" the nice employee said that they do have mats upstairs, they just aren't the same size or material as the yoga may I'm used to. "So like the exercise mats for abs classes? The foam ones that are short?" yes, she says, that's the kind! I can use one of those!

Crap. Slippery, short mats don't work for crap. I could go mat-less, but I'm not sure what this class entails, and many of these gym classes would be rough with no mat.

I tell the kids my dilemma. They say, "let's go home and do yoga!" which is awesome. Until I realize that they will want to do yoga for ten minutes. I want to do it for 90 minutes.

See, last night I went to the first yoga class that I have managed to drag myself to in months. Many months. It was rad. I remembered why I try to go all the time. I found every class possible for the weeks ahead, determined to make yoga take the place of coca-cola in my life. Filling that joy, compulsion, crazy love part of my brain. Hopefully, letting sinking back into yoga shrink my ass. I'm pumped and ready.

So by the time we got home, the kids were driving me crazy in the back trying to get me to watch dances and guess which OK Go video the move comes from, breaking eyeglasses, freaking out over dropped toys, lost graham crackers, refusing water. I said, I am going to get my mat. Henry totally lost it. Got out of his seatbelt. Screamed and cried and hid from me so I couldn't put him back in his car seat. Effffffff.

Fine, no yoga class. Yoga inside. And that lasted thirty seconds.

Screaming fights over dominoes. And I Spy books. Shouting, shoving. Jumping on the couch. Throwing things across the room. Who the hell are these small crazy monkeys screeching and wrecking my house? Demanding bananas (eff you Elmo, showing snacks on your show right before lunch. Effff. You.).

I'm at the end of my rope and it's not even noon. I really, really, *really* needed yoga this morning. We have a skipped nap for Toby, a doctors appointment for Henry, and a lovely playdate late this afternoon. Breathe...

Breathe.

CSA Love. Soup love.

Being members of our beautiful CSA, Swallowtail Farm, has challenged me to use more veggies every day, and use them more creatively. I sometimes don't quite rise to the challenge, and our compost eats a lot. Sometimes, I do better, and I'm always ready to try new recipes (especially for turnips, cabbage, and radishes - right now we are swamped!).

Today was CSA pickup, which means that we only had leftovers when I was actually cooking dinner. I improvised a sweet potato/lentil soup, and I was pretty pleased with the results. I did use celery, onions, and garlic from the co-op -- Florida does, ironically, have seasonal limitations and our farm doesn't grow everything (celery - I still have never seen it growing). But, here's what I did, in case you need some inspiration to whip something up with the stuff you happen to have around.

On-The-Fly SP-L Soup

Chicken stock (from organic chicken, prepped and frozen after last roast chicken), about 4 cups-ish (6?)

3 small onions, chopped

3 stalks celery, chopped

3 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped into bite sized bits

Red lentils, about 1 cup-ish

2 pinches coarse Celtic sea salt

2 grinds mixed peppercorn pepper

2 pinches coriander

Put everything in a nice soup pot with a lid, bring to rolling boil, bring down to a fast simmer, cover, and cook for another twenty-30 minutes. Turn down to low until ready to serve - give it a good mix and be sure to get all those lentils (which have broken down and almost be one like a creamy base) into every bowl. Served 2 adults as only dinner and 2 wee ones, who also got fresh carrots. Perfectly, no leftovers :)

Army of Love

My little gnomes ready to go spread the love to Toby's class for Valentine's on Tuesday. So much better than candy!

Dinner, Beef and Ale Stew. Afternoon Guinness.

Fantastic recipe for beef and ale stew from Jamie Oliver. I've had a crush on Mr. Oliver since I was in college and he was the naked chef... Now I just think he is rad. Stew: 3 bay leaves, 2 carrots chopped coarsely, 2 stalks celery chopped coarsely, two medium onions, chopped coarsely, 2 lugs olive oil. Preheat oven to 350. On stove, on med-high in heavy pan with lid, combine above ingredients and fry 10 minutes. Add 1.25 lbs stew beef, I heaping Tbs flour. Add one can diced tomatoes (14oz-ish) and 1.5 cans Guinness stout. Dash of sea salt, grind of pepper. Mix. Bring to boil. Cover and put in oven for 3 hours, removing lid for 15-30 minutes at end. Delicious with fresh bread. Oh, and finish that can of beer. It's your treat for cooking.

One more day of arguing...

I have been trying to get Blue Cross and Blue Shield to pay for six of Henry's OT visits at the end of 2011 and they are being truly crazy. Yesterday I had one of the most frustrating conversations ever with a guy named Bruce, who, in the end, said he needed to do more research before he could send a denial because I had convinced him to look into some things. Yeah, nice. He said "they" had emailed an explanation for denial but he didn't think it was right after talking to me.

Bruce, poor guy, is like person number ten I've gone around and around about this thing with, and they all come around. And then the claims are still not paid and u get to deal with someone new. It's awesome. But I'm right, and I won't stop bugging them.

Don't eff with a lawyer who is also mama to a special needs kid. Seriously.

And yes, I have socks.

Dear double pointed needles,
You are awesome, thanks for giving me a chance. We have a beautiful future together, BFF, ok? Mwah!
Love, V

Crafty Mama bringing it for Henry!

More Stitching envy

My mom and grandmother just got this ready to go out to be finished (backing, etc) so it will be ready for next year. So awesome.