Schedules and more!

I've been neglecting thoughtful blog posts lately, mostly because I have hardly had the time to breathe, what with boys, lunches, therapies, cleaning, trips, getting sick, knitting, and sleep. (Don't knock those last two, they make all the others possible I tell you). Today I'm writing for real, juggling two topics, and hoping I manage to get to everything in a moderately coherent few paragraphs.

Topic #1: The Second Child Syndrome
I realize that every second child gets a little less attention that their older counterpart, just by virtue of the math involved. Twenty-four hours in a day can only be divided so many times, and every child has to take a bit, so siblings get just a bit less than than eldest did when s/he was solo. In our house, Toby gets probably a little less attention than most second kids, since Henry requires a lot of time and energy. Aspergers is a tough nut, especially before age five, so while mommy and papa work very hard on making sure Henry keeps it together, Toby gets to fight for attention.

This fight he's learning might be a good thing, except that he is really working for the attention hard, all the time, and it's affecting him at school. Today he went back to try to do naptime again, since he has been doing really well with lying still for naptime at home. We are fully bribing with Oreos, but I need the kid to nap, and I really really need him to nap at school because otherwise my schedule becomes this completely unruly beast that might well be the end of me.

With Henry, we had to focus on ten million things all at once, and were working on getting him to learn about talking and having a conversation, and also trying to teach him self-control. His melt-downs were just not the same beast as Toby's very typical two-year-old tantrums, and Henry was simply not the little demand-machine that Toby is most of the time. We are novice parents again, but novice parents who are stretched absurdly thin trying to manage getting a four year old with Aspergers ready for life. Toby's missing out a bit, and I'm not sure how we fix that. We need to. He needs us to fix it, because he needs to learn things from us. And we need to be teaching him and feeling good about that, rather than feeling guilty, exhausted, and frustrated - especially when he gets sent home from school for disrupting naptime. (Fingers crossed, today is his magic turn around day. We need your vibes!)

And all that brings me to... Topic #2: The Schedule Dilemma

Striving for a simple schedule is a fundamental element of the parenting philosophy that I want desperately to embrace. After seeing Kim John Payne talk, listening to his CDs, reading his books, I feel him. I do. I'm having a rough-as-hell time integrating simplicity into our home life, in large part because I have this conflicted feeling about scheduling.

Everyone says that kids with autism and Aspergers need to get as much intervention as possible before age five - that this window is crucial to their development, their chances for success now and in the future - this is the make-it-or-break-it period. So we are getting Henry as much therapy as we can. We are also encouraging peer interactions by having him in his Waldorf school five days a week, which gives him space for free play with peers, a rhythm for the day and week, a community for friends, and space for mama to get some things done when she can focus on them fully. Henry's schedule is nuts, though.

Here, you be the judge - sample week:
Monday: Speech therapy 8:30-9, Hyperbaric 9:15-10:15, School 10:30-1:45, ABA therapy 2-5, Social Skills Group 5-6. Dinner, bath, bed at 7:30.
Tuesday: OT 9-10, School 10:15-3
Wednesday: OT 9-10, School 10:15-2:45, ABA 3-5
Thursday: Speech 8:30-9, Hyperbaric 9:15-10:15, School 10:30-3:00
Friday: School 8:30-1:45, ABA 2-5
Saturday: Speech Language Pathologist student meeting, Therapy Center Kids Fun night
Sunday: School Michaelmas Celebration

I'd love it if we could have a simple schedule, but I'm genuinely not sure how to make that happen without sacrificing some of the therapeutic opportunities for Henry. Oh, and this schedule ignores the fact that he and his brother get sick, his brother has to see the eye specialist about every month or so, and we inevitably have to rearrange things to accommodate things like the school district evaluation he has tomorrow (all day? I have no idea) because they want to judge for themselves, not trust all of his therapists about how he is doing.

Also playing into this dilemma - Toby and the naptime... I drop Toby at school at 8:40, and if he doesn't stay for naptime, I have to pick him up at 11:45, before lunch. Then I have to feed him and figure out how to make a nap work, and ALSO figure out how to manage driving Henry around in the afternoon when Toby is sleeping. You see, kid needs to nap at school, so I can pick him up at 2:40, making every day but Wednesday completely manageable. For me.

I have knitting in Mondays most weeks, and Bret has work many Wednesday nights. We juggle all of this but it's getting a bit absurd. Oh, and trying to potty train kids with this schedule - honestly, just thinking about it is making me want to stab a fork in my eye. Especially because Toby wants attention, so he'll tell you he has to go potty, ALL THE TIME. But still pee his pants. It's rad.

If I was trying to work right now, I would completely lose it. I know that millions of parents do juggle all this crap, four other kids, and also two full time jobs, and MY GOD THEY ARE AWESOME. They are not me.

So, superhumans, or regular humans with brains that can figure out these things: thoughts on getting Toby in line? Thoughts on getting our schedule into a more manageable state? Thoughts on finding joy in this chaos? I'll take it all.

Now, looking back over this, I'm feeling like this is more of a rant than a post that is meaningful and helpful in any way, and I feel badly about that. I'm not going to change it, however, because I really don't have any answers here. I'm feeling my way through blind, so a little complaining is about what I've got. For now. I do see things getting better. I have a feeling I'm getting better at managing things, even though it seems like I am not better at it most days. It's the rare occasion that someone asks me a question, and I have an answer, or Henry initiates a peer interaction that is totally normal, or Toby and Henry get wrapped up in giggles chatting across the dinner table that I think, wow, this is OK. And because I have those moments, I do know it's all OK, even when I moan about it.

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Totally unrelated to my ramblings, my sister-in-law has a lovely blog, and a lovely giveaway running until Wednesday, and since she is lovely you should visit The Lovely Owl today. And every day.

Pinterested?

While it's doubtful that I am ahead of the curve on these sorts of things, I have found and LOVE Pinterest. Mostly I love it because I can save all my "to do" and "i love that!" links in a place that is not my bookmark bar, but I also love that I can SHARE these little gems with others. Not that I am finding gold from places others have not looked; I assure you, I'm getting most of my pins from craftgawker and that sort of thing. But it's great fun, nonetheless.

I only have one "follower," so it's not as if I am trend-setting; however, I like to think that with time I will stop having five zillion bookmarks in my "craft projects" and "inspiration" Firefox folders, and will use the handy thumbnails and descriptions on my personal, virtual Pinboard for good. And perhaps, should you wind up on the Pinterest, you'll follow me and get some inspiration too.

Just a thought.

Make Something Friday, Take One: Easy peasy cotton knit baby blanket pattern

This weekend I have the daunting task of finishing two baby blankets for newborns that I need to visit (read, cuddle) next week. One is just a few short rows of seed stitch away, the other has a bit more to go,, but all in garter, so easy going.

Here is the simple pattern for an easy baby blanket, perfect for summer babes:

Four fat skeins cotton yarn
Size 9 circular needles
Scissors and tapestry needle

Using long-tail cast-on, cast on about 150 stitches. (You are going for about 30-36")
Knit one, purl one, to the end of the row. If you end on a knit stitch, on the second row start on a knit stitch (start on a purl if you end on a purl). do this seed stitch for about twelve rows.

For the next row, you can decide if you want the edges down he sides to be in garter stitch (flexible) or seed stitch. If you are doing the garter option, knit across one row. On the next row, knit nine stitches, then purl across, knitting the last nine stitches. Repeat those two rows until you have your blanket, then repeat the seed stitch patterfor twelve rows and cast off. if you opt for seed stitch edging, knit one, purl one alternating for nine stitches on the ends. Stockinette the middle. Seed the bottom edge.

Easy peasy.

I'll post some pictures when I get them together, and baby Cooperr has gotten his little present!

Baby Ida's Blanket

Organic cotton, cool and tough for summer! Brooklyn, here it comes!

Baby Hat #1, 2011

This was my first project of 2011, being modeled by the sweet sweet boy who received it. Soft bamboo, simple circular design. Love him!

Contest!

I have a black tie wedding to attend in about a month. I have next to no time to shop, and am in a quandary because I'm in the process of slimming and am not sure what size I will need in a month. And yet, I need a dress.

I have no idea what a lady wears to a black tie wedding when only a cousin and not in the wedding party. Oh, and it is definitely black tie, not an option to spare.

Throw me ideas people - and, much like Crime Stoppers, whoever makes a suggestion that leads to a purchase wins a reward!

I will knit a custom toy/blanket/hat and scarf/messenger bag/etc. for you or your kid or your partner or whoever. Honest to god fancy knitting to order.

This is big time people. Dress me!

And, go!!

Addendum: See how little I know! Here is more info on the event to help you with your search:
My cousin is marrying a lovely gal who is from the fancy part of Charleston, WV. South Charleston, technically. Wedding is at 6, cocktails are 730-830 with dinner and reception following. Reception is at her family's farm I think - it seems like a very large estate. The invites were completely simple, engraved, traditional, ultra-fancy. Cloth-lined envelopes, hand-caligraphied address and inner envelope, tissues, etc. It's not black tie optional, which my brother's ultra-fancy NYC wedding was, it's just black tie. Fancy. Oh, they have a website! www.laurenandwill.com

For the record, Will is my first cousin, and I adore him. Babysat him all the time, the little terror. His fiancé is incredibly sweet and lovely, so I couldn't be happier to be celebrating with them!

Baby blanket, almost done

This project is killing my wrist. I think I have given myself tendinitis or something. Just started in the past few days, and I'm not sure why it's come up suddenly. Thankfully, this guy is a few rows from finished, so I can take a little break soon. I'm not sure where it's headed just yet, but I'm in love with the colors!

Baby hat and bib, newborn-ish

Baby hat and bib, newborn-ish
Originally uploaded by Hamstocks

Working right along, here is my second project recently completed. Given at a shower last weekend, for a dear little one to be who they are "98%" sure is a boy, this set is super soft organic cotton, which I found on super-sale at Michael's a few weeks ago. While I definitely prefer supporting the local yarn shop, I couldn't pass up clearance organic cotton, so you will see the colors I found in this in use in several upcoming projects.

I should note that I failed to take a photo of the first baby project I did this year, which was, after some truly miserable failures around Christmas, a minor success. It was a slightly-too-large hat; very sweet, tan, organic bamboo, and warmly received by the mama of sweet kittle Elliot, who I have not seen in way too long now!

Baby blanket #1, 2011

Baby blanket #1, 2011
Originally uploaded by Hamstocks

This is the first completed baby blanket for 2011. I have a lot of babies to go... This particular blanket was called "folksy" by my sweet huhsband, but I disagree. I think it's kind of hip, and I love it. I hope it's hip, because it is on it's way north to Chicago, where it will hopefully become a good summer accessory for a little city girl whose papa I love dearly and whose mama I still need to meet!

Open Letter to Mamas of Summer Babies

Dear Mamas of Summer Babies,

OK, so here is my situation: I birthed one winter baby and technically one almost-summer baby, but we had a freak cold snap that May and I was spending most of my time completely stressed out with a baby getting eye surgeries, so, well... I implore you for some advice here.

I know several mamas who are about to have babies, or have recently had babies. I like making gifts, and I can basically ONLY knit. I mean, I have a sewing machine and theoretically could sew and/or quilt, but really, I knit. Not crochet (I have tried and failed for now), knit. Knitting plus summer babes.... Yeah, not immediately the best combination right?

I have finished one blanket which I really like. It's bright, it's a nice cotton that will wash well and wear like iron, and it will also breathe! It's about 3' x 3' and I think it's good for a boy or a girl, but as it's a bit of a bright rainbow it might be better for one of my less traditional friends.

As an aside: I don't expect anyone to pamper a gift I give. I hope it will get used and used hard! I try to pick materials and knitting techniques that will hold up to everything a baby and a washer can dish out. (I have no illusions about some idyllic baby cuddly world that smells like powder and is always soft and clean, trust me.)

So, the dilemma: I could make more cotton blankets. I could make cotton hats. I could make cotton toys. I have a lot of organic cotton ready to knit, I just need some input on what would be the best summer baby gift. I mean, do people use knit blankets in the summer, ever? Does it matter if they are breathable cotton? And hats, what's the scoop? My kids wore them, but one was born in early February and the other was always in freezing hospitals or in the A/C until he was like five months old and the summer heat was wearing off. What kinds of toys would babies like? I did an pretty rad Muno doll, and have done some others, so it is possible.

And really, on colors: do people really still care about this pink/blue thing? My boys wore lots of green and brown and red and navy. The sale organic were a purple-blue and pink, and the sale was great, so I do have these things to think about this time.

One other point: some of the mamas are really good friends. One is the wife of a really good friend (I have never actually met mama, but the papa and I go way back to age six or so). One is family, but not close. And another is a far-off friend who was once very close, but not really close anymore. I still want to shower these mamas one and all with some special love and care, and hey, I also really love excuses to knit like a nut!

So, mamas of summer babies, what would you most want to get if I were knitting for you? And if you aren't a mama of a summer baby, or even a mama, and you still want to share, feel free. I need the inspiration!

With love and care, V

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Sent from my iPhone.

http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/

My knitting personality.

My knitting personality is sort of half-assed, faking it. I love starting projects, working through them, and giving away a finished project, but if something requires too much attention to detail (or math), I tend to just move on to something I know I can finish easily. I do enjoy learning new stitches, techniques, etc., but unless I can master them right away and integrate them into things I do a lot, I don't really bother. (I'd like to think all this applies only to knitting, but let's be real.)

I learned to knit from my grandmother Thea when I was in college. I think it was my sophomore year, so that would be like 1998 or thereabouts. I made a ridiculously pointless half-scarf in garter stitch and gave it to a friend. He was kind and did not diss it, but really, this thing was crap. It was like 12" x 20" (I had one skein, so it ended when the yarn did), and it was a mess. I had learned to purl, but it freaked me out, so I just knit - hence the garter stitch. I had no clue how to bind off by the time I finished the thing, so I sort of rigged the end of it somehow with lots of knots. The number of dropped and arbitrarily-added stitches was spectacular, and the tension was all over the map. Did I mention that it was bright teal, 100% acrylic? Uncomfortable, unusable, hideous thing. But, I was so excited to give away my very first knitting project, I could hardly contain myself.

I honestly don't recall if I made anything else for years, but I managed to pick knitting up again sometime around the time I took the Bar Exam in 2006. I made a lot of scarves to start. All in garter stitch, because I could remember how to knit, but had totally forgotten how to purl. I tried to look it up and practice, but it never quite worked, and rather than really working at it, I just settled for garter stitch and made a lot of scarves. You can get a fair amount of variation out of garter stitch scarves using different needles and yarns. But I exhausted the possibilities pretty quickly.

I was getting better, though. My stitches and tension were much more even, I was getting fast, and things were going well. I decided it was time to branch out... in 2007. I decided I really did want to purl, so I looked up tutorials online. How did we exist without the internet? Or, specifically, YouTube? You can learn to do anything. From like five (or fifty) different people. Between knitting blogs and videos, I learned to purl. I also learned about using circular needles to make roll brim hats. The hats made me swallow some fear and learn to use double pointed needles, knit together, and read very basic patterns, all of which hugely expanded my horizons.

Oh, around this time I also learned about proper ways to change colors, add an additional skein in the same color, and why having an embroidery needle for weaving in ends is actually something necessary. Let me back up - before this period, I would tie the ends of yarn together and keep knitting. I tried to time it for the end of a row if I was changing color, but just went with it if not. My knitting was just messy and basic - I accepted this wholly. As for weaving in excess thread, oh dear. I'd cut it as short as possible (hoping to avoid this at all), and then do it with my fingers, which usually made a huge mess of things too. It was crazy, all over the place. Not invisible. You see, these "small details" required either a bit too much faith (the yarn would, in fact, stay kitted together even if not knotted!), and a bit too much effort (I had to keep track of embroidery needles, and I lose these sorts of things). Now they are part of what I do (and I have my gear in a knitting bag!), but it took me ever so long to get to embrace them.

I have learned more since then, but really I stick to the basics because the next leap will require a lot more work, and probably more math. I can make really large simple things (like baby/toddler blankets) using a few stitches on circular needles. I can still make scarves, but now they can be much more interesting, and can come with coordinating hats. I have figured out how to improvise making my own patterns enough to make toys for Henry, which I really like doing because it's all messy and crazy, but it's OK. Of course, I need to learn more techniques to get better at this one, especially if I intend to share patterns with others (right now I just put the crazy messy out there, but knitters tend to be more tidy, so I need to work on that).

But the toys are really a good measure of my kitting personality. I learned and tried new things to make Muno, but I also had to improvise and fake it a lot too. I had to just make it work, with no road map and a lot of gaps in my skills. If you look closely at him, you'll find he's an utter mess of pieced together bits. But he works. And I believe he can make it through the washing machine, although I might be afraid to stick him in the dryer. There is something to that.

I can't make gorgeous sweaters or cabled socks (yet anyway), but I can make some stuff. Eventually, I may focus and really learn to do some major things, but I kind of like my simple projects. I know how often I toss Henry's blanket in the washer/dryer, and how he loves it. And how he totes around a red cyclops or wears his little hat (not often, he hates hats, but he wore it all morning the other day when it was cold outside!). I love that I can do that much. And that there is not a lot of math.

Henry loves Muno - A Knitting Project

Henry loves Muno
Originally uploaded by Bret, Virginia, and Henry

So Muno is a dancing red cyclops (who is "tall and friendly") on the show Yo Gabba Gabba! - Henry loves to dance and sing with the show, and I wanted to get crazy with a knitting project, so I designed a Muno doll for him. It took kind of a long time - double-pointed needles for knitting in the round are great, but much harder to use with such little yarn, and when making such a little guy. (Hats are infinitely easier, I think). In the end, it was worth it. Henry loves his Muno doll, I got to feel pretty kick ass about making something for him, and now I get to share (I hope it's right - I'm a few months out from the original design...) You can see more pics of Muno in the post below, or on our Flickr page here.

I learned to use double-point needles (dpn) after reading this, and this, which were very helpful. They really aren't that scary when you give them a chance.

I used Lily Cotton yarn (Sugar 'n Cream) in some reddish color - eyeball the color, really the best idea. I only used one regular skein for the project. I used an ivory Sugar 'n Cream for the eyes, and whatever black yarn was on hand for the mouth and middle of the eyeball. You'll need size 5 dpns, size 5 needles, and a good embroidery needle. Oh, and polyfill to stuff it (but not a lot).

The "Pattern" (in my crazy little way)

The body:
Cast on 35s to three or four size 5 dpns. Knitting in the round will give you stockinette, so just go for about 4 inches (about 37 times around, give or take). Knit 10s, then knit 2 together 2x, then knit 9 then 2 together - for a total of one time around. You should now have 32s on. Knit in the round for about an inch and a half (about 10 times around). Now, start decreasing fast - I can't remember my exact math, but it was fast, like knit 2, knit 2 together, for a couple of rounds, then knit 1, knit 2 together. When you are down to about 10-7 stitches on, bind off by using the tail to scoop up the loops from the remaining stitches and pulling together. Leave the tail SUPER long (a couple feet), you'll need it later.

The legs:
(repeat this two times)
Cast on 18s on a regular size 5 straight needle. Knit in stockinette for about 30 rows (about 3.5 inches). Increase by one or two stitches, then continue knitting for another half inch (about 5 or so rows). Cast off as you usually do, and leave a good tail for sewing later.

The arms:
Cast on 10s as for legs above. Knit stockinette for 26 rows, then begin the decrease by knitting three, knitting 2 together for one row. Purl across one row. Then knit 2, knit 2 together. Purl across one row. Knit one, knit 2 together. Scoop up remaining loops and pull together, leaving bit of a tail.

Stick it all together:
Sew up one end of each of the legs with the tails, using the needle. And sew up the seams, also, so you have two sock-like things. Fill with a bit of polyfill (not too much, you want Muno to wiggle and dance).

Fill the body with polyfill (again, not too much, make it fun and floppy a little bit).

Sew the open ends of the legs onto the open end of the body, making sure the "crotch" is all sewn together. Put the seams of the legs in toward the center and you won't even see them. Oh, and it makes the feet look good too.

Sew up the seams of the arms, use no fill. Sew them onto the body about 2/3 of the way up the body (below the decrease you knitted, but not too low - about 1/3 down from the closed portion - the head). Of course, line them up with the legs, and put the seams on the BACK of the arms. They'll get floppy enough - no fill works really well. It's OK if they are flattish - it looks good anyway.

Use whatever long tails you have left to make the bumps. With the head, go in through the top and pull it down (you don't want a pointy head!) it's a good start. Pull the needle through the fill and make the bumps with basic sewing stitches - randomly all over. About 3 or 4 stitches make a good bump. Go all over - legs, arms, all over. Just pull through the fill - it may poke out a little, but it will be ok and settle.

For the eye and the mouth, start with the base color (white for the eye, black for the mouth) and sew on the feature. No real proper way to do it - just sew it on. Make a big tail and pull the needle through leaving a long tail inside the fill. This will anchor it without making it look bad. Oh, and don't forget the teeth (white) and the inside of the eyeball (black).

If this makes no sense, call me or something. And enjoy!

I will add some more patterns soon - I have bunches I have tried out, although many are totally boring and invented or have been stolen from great knitting blogs!