Thursday, December 8, 2011
Sample
Monday, November 21, 2011
Open letter to myself
Dear Virginia,
Honey, you have a problem. You need to gather yourself and your books and your projects together and make a plan. You need to stop trolling craftgawker and Pinterest, stop perusing the recommendations on Amazon, stop reading newsletters and culling book titles, stop searching Ravelry for new patterns... Stop. Etsy will keep on without you.
The pile of books, both digital and physical, that you have queued up to read is staggering. The puke of projects, with and without materials, with and without looming deadlines for completion, with and without intended recipients... It's a train wreck.
So pause. Get to work. Read. Enjoy the nourishing bounty of the season with the CSA share and try some of those Nourishing Traditions recipes with the ingredients you possess.
But for Goodness' sake, chill out on the stacking or you will never get through anything currently in line. And that would be tragic, because some of it is AWESOME!!
Love, V
Honey, you have a problem. You need to gather yourself and your books and your projects together and make a plan. You need to stop trolling craftgawker and Pinterest, stop perusing the recommendations on Amazon, stop reading newsletters and culling book titles, stop searching Ravelry for new patterns... Stop. Etsy will keep on without you.
The pile of books, both digital and physical, that you have queued up to read is staggering. The puke of projects, with and without materials, with and without looming deadlines for completion, with and without intended recipients... It's a train wreck.
So pause. Get to work. Read. Enjoy the nourishing bounty of the season with the CSA share and try some of those Nourishing Traditions recipes with the ingredients you possess.
But for Goodness' sake, chill out on the stacking or you will never get through anything currently in line. And that would be tragic, because some of it is AWESOME!!
Love, V
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Bookish-ish
I've been reading, and making things, but have been wretched about getting things written. Tonight I'm planning on deciding on a new book to start, and reading!! before bed, which must be soon, so this is an "-ish" post.
For whatever reason, I've been in this apocalyptic zombie zone lately; I just finished _Zone One_ by Colson Whitehead. It wasn't a revelation, but it was entertaining and well-written as far as zombie novels go. And short, so that was nice for me. I totally didn't plan to write tonight, so I have nothing planned in terms of a proper review, but I will say that it's left this odd literary nonsense rattling around my head - the last paragraph calls to mind immediately the end of _The Great Gatsby_, "The Dead," and _Little Dorrit_. A lot actually reflects "The Dead" by Joyce, tossing it up and playing with it in bizarre ways. So I have to think about all that more, perhaps reread Joyce, and write something sensible.
For whatever reason, I've been in this apocalyptic zombie zone lately; I just finished _Zone One_ by Colson Whitehead. It wasn't a revelation, but it was entertaining and well-written as far as zombie novels go. And short, so that was nice for me. I totally didn't plan to write tonight, so I have nothing planned in terms of a proper review, but I will say that it's left this odd literary nonsense rattling around my head - the last paragraph calls to mind immediately the end of _The Great Gatsby_, "The Dead," and _Little Dorrit_. A lot actually reflects "The Dead" by Joyce, tossing it up and playing with it in bizarre ways. So I have to think about all that more, perhaps reread Joyce, and write something sensible.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
My Fall Begins Tonight!
Tonight Bret picked up our first CSA share of the season. I love getting the weekly surprise of delicious local veggies and discovering new ways to cook seasonally. The summer dry spell is a sad time in Florida, with nothing but watermelon to hold us over. So hooray for fall! And welcome weekly deliveries from beautiful Swallowtail Farm.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Stumbled Upon
Things have been crazy. I have ideas about genuine posts brewing, and will get back eventually, when I have a few minutes to rub together. I am creating things, though, which is important because it's awesome and because the holidays approach... And we are forever busy shuttling from one place to another, doing laundry, and trying to become experts in, well, Holland.
I found this today, and it so encapsulated things I've been thinking I wanted to share it. Mostly because it's more clear than I can be, but also because it's a little meaty at this moment when I just don't have the time and energy to bring the writing A-game myself.
Love.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
I found this today, and it so encapsulated things I've been thinking I wanted to share it. Mostly because it's more clear than I can be, but also because it's a little meaty at this moment when I just don't have the time and energy to bring the writing A-game myself.
Love.
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 Emily Perl Kingsley.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
All Too Typical
This morning:
While walking by Henry's room to go make breakfast, I glance in, see Henry in underpants and a shirt reading a book on the floor. I also think I see poop squished in the carpet.
Me: Oh my God! Is that poop on the floor behind you?!?
Henry: (not even looking up) What? Where?
Me: (walking into the room, looking closer) There, behind you, in the rug...(sigh of relief) Oh, never mind, it's just a letter.
Henry: (turning around, looking at the floor, searching) What letter is it?
Me: (still just relieved it's not poop) I think it's the letter J.
Henry: oooh! OK. (goes back to reading, because J is not a favorite letter)
As I walk out, I hear Bret laughing, and only then realize that this scenario is kind of crazy. Well, crazy anywhere but our house.
While walking by Henry's room to go make breakfast, I glance in, see Henry in underpants and a shirt reading a book on the floor. I also think I see poop squished in the carpet.
Me: Oh my God! Is that poop on the floor behind you?!?
Henry: (not even looking up) What? Where?
Me: (walking into the room, looking closer) There, behind you, in the rug...(sigh of relief) Oh, never mind, it's just a letter.
Henry: (turning around, looking at the floor, searching) What letter is it?
Me: (still just relieved it's not poop) I think it's the letter J.
Henry: oooh! OK. (goes back to reading, because J is not a favorite letter)
As I walk out, I hear Bret laughing, and only then realize that this scenario is kind of crazy. Well, crazy anywhere but our house.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Loving This Today
I'm learning (well, teaching myself) how to embroider right now, so at the moment I am smitten with the beautiful stitching my grandmother did here. I'm wishing I spent more of my younger days hanging out in her craft room learning needlework, because she is so talented. She taught me to knit, and it's taken years to get respectable. Now that I'm doing needlework, her first love, I'm really wishing I had the time in Vero to learn from her - all the time, not just visits!
So, today I am loving this. For everything.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Celebrating Autumn
Friday, September 30, 2011
I made something, on Friday.
Week in Review (crafts)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Magic Pillows
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Schedules and more!
I've been neglecting thoughtful blog posts lately, mostly because I have hardly had the time to breathe, what with boys, lunches, therapies, cleaning, trips, getting sick, knitting, and sleep. (Don't knock those last two, they make all the others possible I tell you). Today I'm writing for real, juggling two topics, and hoping I manage to get to everything in a moderately coherent few paragraphs.
Topic #1: The Second Child Syndrome
I realize that every second child gets a little less attention that their older counterpart, just by virtue of the math involved. Twenty-four hours in a day can only be divided so many times, and every child has to take a bit, so siblings get just a bit less than than eldest did when s/he was solo. In our house, Toby gets probably a little less attention than most second kids, since Henry requires a lot of time and energy. Aspergers is a tough nut, especially before age five, so while mommy and papa work very hard on making sure Henry keeps it together, Toby gets to fight for attention.
This fight he's learning might be a good thing, except that he is really working for the attention hard, all the time, and it's affecting him at school. Today he went back to try to do naptime again, since he has been doing really well with lying still for naptime at home. We are fully bribing with Oreos, but I need the kid to nap, and I really really need him to nap at school because otherwise my schedule becomes this completely unruly beast that might well be the end of me.
With Henry, we had to focus on ten million things all at once, and were working on getting him to learn about talking and having a conversation, and also trying to teach him self-control. His melt-downs were just not the same beast as Toby's very typical two-year-old tantrums, and Henry was simply not the little demand-machine that Toby is most of the time. We are novice parents again, but novice parents who are stretched absurdly thin trying to manage getting a four year old with Aspergers ready for life. Toby's missing out a bit, and I'm not sure how we fix that. We need to. He needs us to fix it, because he needs to learn things from us. And we need to be teaching him and feeling good about that, rather than feeling guilty, exhausted, and frustrated - especially when he gets sent home from school for disrupting naptime. (Fingers crossed, today is his magic turn around day. We need your vibes!)
And all that brings me to... Topic #2: The Schedule Dilemma
Striving for a simple schedule is a fundamental element of the parenting philosophy that I want desperately to embrace. After seeing Kim John Payne talk, listening to his CDs, reading his books, I feel him. I do. I'm having a rough-as-hell time integrating simplicity into our home life, in large part because I have this conflicted feeling about scheduling.
Everyone says that kids with autism and Aspergers need to get as much intervention as possible before age five - that this window is crucial to their development, their chances for success now and in the future - this is the make-it-or-break-it period. So we are getting Henry as much therapy as we can. We are also encouraging peer interactions by having him in his Waldorf school five days a week, which gives him space for free play with peers, a rhythm for the day and week, a community for friends, and space for mama to get some things done when she can focus on them fully. Henry's schedule is nuts, though.
Here, you be the judge - sample week:
Monday: Speech therapy 8:30-9, Hyperbaric 9:15-10:15, School 10:30-1:45, ABA therapy 2-5, Social Skills Group 5-6. Dinner, bath, bed at 7:30.
Tuesday: OT 9-10, School 10:15-3
Wednesday: OT 9-10, School 10:15-2:45, ABA 3-5
Thursday: Speech 8:30-9, Hyperbaric 9:15-10:15, School 10:30-3:00
Friday: School 8:30-1:45, ABA 2-5
Saturday: Speech Language Pathologist student meeting, Therapy Center Kids Fun night
Sunday: School Michaelmas Celebration
I'd love it if we could have a simple schedule, but I'm genuinely not sure how to make that happen without sacrificing some of the therapeutic opportunities for Henry. Oh, and this schedule ignores the fact that he and his brother get sick, his brother has to see the eye specialist about every month or so, and we inevitably have to rearrange things to accommodate things like the school district evaluation he has tomorrow (all day? I have no idea) because they want to judge for themselves, not trust all of his therapists about how he is doing.
Also playing into this dilemma - Toby and the naptime... I drop Toby at school at 8:40, and if he doesn't stay for naptime, I have to pick him up at 11:45, before lunch. Then I have to feed him and figure out how to make a nap work, and ALSO figure out how to manage driving Henry around in the afternoon when Toby is sleeping. You see, kid needs to nap at school, so I can pick him up at 2:40, making every day but Wednesday completely manageable. For me.
I have knitting in Mondays most weeks, and Bret has work many Wednesday nights. We juggle all of this but it's getting a bit absurd. Oh, and trying to potty train kids with this schedule - honestly, just thinking about it is making me want to stab a fork in my eye. Especially because Toby wants attention, so he'll tell you he has to go potty, ALL THE TIME. But still pee his pants. It's rad.
If I was trying to work right now, I would completely lose it. I know that millions of parents do juggle all this crap, four other kids, and also two full time jobs, and MY GOD THEY ARE AWESOME. They are not me.
So, superhumans, or regular humans with brains that can figure out these things: thoughts on getting Toby in line? Thoughts on getting our schedule into a more manageable state? Thoughts on finding joy in this chaos? I'll take it all.
Now, looking back over this, I'm feeling like this is more of a rant than a post that is meaningful and helpful in any way, and I feel badly about that. I'm not going to change it, however, because I really don't have any answers here. I'm feeling my way through blind, so a little complaining is about what I've got. For now. I do see things getting better. I have a feeling I'm getting better at managing things, even though it seems like I am not better at it most days. It's the rare occasion that someone asks me a question, and I have an answer, or Henry initiates a peer interaction that is totally normal, or Toby and Henry get wrapped up in giggles chatting across the dinner table that I think, wow, this is OK. And because I have those moments, I do know it's all OK, even when I moan about it.
-----
Totally unrelated to my ramblings, my sister-in-law has a lovely blog, and a lovely giveaway running until Wednesday, and since she is lovely you should visit The Lovely Owl today. And every day.
Topic #1: The Second Child Syndrome
I realize that every second child gets a little less attention that their older counterpart, just by virtue of the math involved. Twenty-four hours in a day can only be divided so many times, and every child has to take a bit, so siblings get just a bit less than than eldest did when s/he was solo. In our house, Toby gets probably a little less attention than most second kids, since Henry requires a lot of time and energy. Aspergers is a tough nut, especially before age five, so while mommy and papa work very hard on making sure Henry keeps it together, Toby gets to fight for attention.
This fight he's learning might be a good thing, except that he is really working for the attention hard, all the time, and it's affecting him at school. Today he went back to try to do naptime again, since he has been doing really well with lying still for naptime at home. We are fully bribing with Oreos, but I need the kid to nap, and I really really need him to nap at school because otherwise my schedule becomes this completely unruly beast that might well be the end of me.
With Henry, we had to focus on ten million things all at once, and were working on getting him to learn about talking and having a conversation, and also trying to teach him self-control. His melt-downs were just not the same beast as Toby's very typical two-year-old tantrums, and Henry was simply not the little demand-machine that Toby is most of the time. We are novice parents again, but novice parents who are stretched absurdly thin trying to manage getting a four year old with Aspergers ready for life. Toby's missing out a bit, and I'm not sure how we fix that. We need to. He needs us to fix it, because he needs to learn things from us. And we need to be teaching him and feeling good about that, rather than feeling guilty, exhausted, and frustrated - especially when he gets sent home from school for disrupting naptime. (Fingers crossed, today is his magic turn around day. We need your vibes!)
And all that brings me to... Topic #2: The Schedule Dilemma
Striving for a simple schedule is a fundamental element of the parenting philosophy that I want desperately to embrace. After seeing Kim John Payne talk, listening to his CDs, reading his books, I feel him. I do. I'm having a rough-as-hell time integrating simplicity into our home life, in large part because I have this conflicted feeling about scheduling.
Everyone says that kids with autism and Aspergers need to get as much intervention as possible before age five - that this window is crucial to their development, their chances for success now and in the future - this is the make-it-or-break-it period. So we are getting Henry as much therapy as we can. We are also encouraging peer interactions by having him in his Waldorf school five days a week, which gives him space for free play with peers, a rhythm for the day and week, a community for friends, and space for mama to get some things done when she can focus on them fully. Henry's schedule is nuts, though.
Here, you be the judge - sample week:
Monday: Speech therapy 8:30-9, Hyperbaric 9:15-10:15, School 10:30-1:45, ABA therapy 2-5, Social Skills Group 5-6. Dinner, bath, bed at 7:30.
Tuesday: OT 9-10, School 10:15-3
Wednesday: OT 9-10, School 10:15-2:45, ABA 3-5
Thursday: Speech 8:30-9, Hyperbaric 9:15-10:15, School 10:30-3:00
Friday: School 8:30-1:45, ABA 2-5
Saturday: Speech Language Pathologist student meeting, Therapy Center Kids Fun night
Sunday: School Michaelmas Celebration
I'd love it if we could have a simple schedule, but I'm genuinely not sure how to make that happen without sacrificing some of the therapeutic opportunities for Henry. Oh, and this schedule ignores the fact that he and his brother get sick, his brother has to see the eye specialist about every month or so, and we inevitably have to rearrange things to accommodate things like the school district evaluation he has tomorrow (all day? I have no idea) because they want to judge for themselves, not trust all of his therapists about how he is doing.
Also playing into this dilemma - Toby and the naptime... I drop Toby at school at 8:40, and if he doesn't stay for naptime, I have to pick him up at 11:45, before lunch. Then I have to feed him and figure out how to make a nap work, and ALSO figure out how to manage driving Henry around in the afternoon when Toby is sleeping. You see, kid needs to nap at school, so I can pick him up at 2:40, making every day but Wednesday completely manageable. For me.
I have knitting in Mondays most weeks, and Bret has work many Wednesday nights. We juggle all of this but it's getting a bit absurd. Oh, and trying to potty train kids with this schedule - honestly, just thinking about it is making me want to stab a fork in my eye. Especially because Toby wants attention, so he'll tell you he has to go potty, ALL THE TIME. But still pee his pants. It's rad.
If I was trying to work right now, I would completely lose it. I know that millions of parents do juggle all this crap, four other kids, and also two full time jobs, and MY GOD THEY ARE AWESOME. They are not me.
So, superhumans, or regular humans with brains that can figure out these things: thoughts on getting Toby in line? Thoughts on getting our schedule into a more manageable state? Thoughts on finding joy in this chaos? I'll take it all.
Now, looking back over this, I'm feeling like this is more of a rant than a post that is meaningful and helpful in any way, and I feel badly about that. I'm not going to change it, however, because I really don't have any answers here. I'm feeling my way through blind, so a little complaining is about what I've got. For now. I do see things getting better. I have a feeling I'm getting better at managing things, even though it seems like I am not better at it most days. It's the rare occasion that someone asks me a question, and I have an answer, or Henry initiates a peer interaction that is totally normal, or Toby and Henry get wrapped up in giggles chatting across the dinner table that I think, wow, this is OK. And because I have those moments, I do know it's all OK, even when I moan about it.
-----
Totally unrelated to my ramblings, my sister-in-law has a lovely blog, and a lovely giveaway running until Wednesday, and since she is lovely you should visit The Lovely Owl today. And every day.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Pinterested?
While it's doubtful that I am ahead of the curve on these sorts of things, I have found and LOVE Pinterest. Mostly I love it because I can save all my "to do" and "i love that!" links in a place that is not my bookmark bar, but I also love that I can SHARE these little gems with others. Not that I am finding gold from places others have not looked; I assure you, I'm getting most of my pins from craftgawker and that sort of thing. But it's great fun, nonetheless.
I only have one "follower," so it's not as if I am trend-setting; however, I like to think that with time I will stop having five zillion bookmarks in my "craft projects" and "inspiration" Firefox folders, and will use the handy thumbnails and descriptions on my personal, virtual Pinboard for good. And perhaps, should you wind up on the Pinterest, you'll follow me and get some inspiration too.
Just a thought.
I only have one "follower," so it's not as if I am trend-setting; however, I like to think that with time I will stop having five zillion bookmarks in my "craft projects" and "inspiration" Firefox folders, and will use the handy thumbnails and descriptions on my personal, virtual Pinboard for good. And perhaps, should you wind up on the Pinterest, you'll follow me and get some inspiration too.
Just a thought.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Mama Monday
I was going to write a really meaty post about balancing parenting children with special needs, and attempting to simplify schedules and life while also getting kidlets all the therapy they can possibly need... But then Toby got kicked out of naptime at school (awesome phone call) and I can barely keep thoughts in my head. Sleepy two ear olds are a challenge. Oh, and two little kids were mean to Henry at school (creeps) and I miscalculated my knitting night so I don't get to do that until next week. I also didn't manage to get dinner started on time (soup from scratch is easy but takes time) so what are we eating for dinner? You tell me.
Good things: tomorrow I have a date with my knitting basket and the new Helen Mirren thriller, Henry and I have hyperbaric, my sitter is here all day, including cleaning hours, and we are headed to Vero Beach for the weekend on Thursday morning.
So, now I just need to do laundry and pack, make a cleaning checklist, figure out how to make my 2 year old not a terror (and also make him a child who naps!), and figure out dinner. Seriously, what's for dinner?
Good things: tomorrow I have a date with my knitting basket and the new Helen Mirren thriller, Henry and I have hyperbaric, my sitter is here all day, including cleaning hours, and we are headed to Vero Beach for the weekend on Thursday morning.
So, now I just need to do laundry and pack, make a cleaning checklist, figure out how to make my 2 year old not a terror (and also make him a child who naps!), and figure out dinner. Seriously, what's for dinner?
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Open Letter to People Who Talk to My Kids
Dear anyone who might ever talk to my kids,
There are a few things you should understand about my children, lest you have a conversation with one or both of them and start getting some deep concerns about our family.
1. Henry has Aspergers, and he can seriously, truly, I-kid-you-not read and remember details of everything you say and just about everything he reads. He will call you out on whatever he can, because it's fun for him. He will read something and ask you what words mean. He is genuinely asking you for a definition, in the abstract. If he's quizzing you and you mess up, he will tell you you are wrong. If he just wants to know what it means, he will try to make sure he gets the meaning by saying, "so it's like..." and making an analogy. These are often not quite right. Defining words is serious business, don't screw around. He will freak out on you, and he will not let it go. And yes, he can READ ANYTHING, so don't try to be tricky.
2. Henry sometimes makes associations that are off, and it can really screw you up if you don't follow him mentally. Sometimes you have to pretend you get it until you can figure it out. Oh, and his information on people, places, and things is not always accurate, or not exactly. For instance, today we had to pick Bret up after work because it was raining and he had ridden his bike. We couldn't drive in front of his office due to a downtown street festival, so we picked him up in front of Court Services under an awning on the next block. Henry says, "Hey Papa, so you're all done with Drug Court?" He read the sign on the window. Bret is not involved with drug court, promise.
3. Toby likes pretend play, and like most two year olds, he likes mimicking what he sees at home. Please don't freak out if he takes a baby doll, points at it's butt, and says "baby has to be brave. I have to put it in. Be brave baby." Remember, Henry has Aspergers! Part of his protocol is a small shot in the butt cheek every other night. I've gotten better at doing it, he's gotten braver, but it makes things sound totally sketchy. They aren't.
4. When out in public, Henry sometimes throws a fit and we have to physically pick him up and move him. He's usually screaming, and lately it's been screaming things like "you are hurting me! Stop hurting me!!" I assure you, even when frustrated, we are very gentle. In these situations we are even more gentle, because he's list in an Aspie world and we can't even be genuinely mad at him, just help him through to the other side. Toby mimics. We aren't hurting him either, I swear!
5. They make up words. I got nothing for you there.
6. They might ask you about your boobs. Toby especially. He was really into nursing, that's all I got. I apologize in advance. They mean no harm.
7. They like crashing. If conversation stops mid-sentence and one or both throws himself at you, be tough. Be prepared. They are both heavy, so don't engage in a throwing them in the air game after crashing begins, you'll wreck yourself, I swear.
There are seven million more things, but here's a start.
Oh, and thanks for being my platform to test the new Blogger app - it's not bad!
Love, V
There are a few things you should understand about my children, lest you have a conversation with one or both of them and start getting some deep concerns about our family.
1. Henry has Aspergers, and he can seriously, truly, I-kid-you-not read and remember details of everything you say and just about everything he reads. He will call you out on whatever he can, because it's fun for him. He will read something and ask you what words mean. He is genuinely asking you for a definition, in the abstract. If he's quizzing you and you mess up, he will tell you you are wrong. If he just wants to know what it means, he will try to make sure he gets the meaning by saying, "so it's like..." and making an analogy. These are often not quite right. Defining words is serious business, don't screw around. He will freak out on you, and he will not let it go. And yes, he can READ ANYTHING, so don't try to be tricky.
2. Henry sometimes makes associations that are off, and it can really screw you up if you don't follow him mentally. Sometimes you have to pretend you get it until you can figure it out. Oh, and his information on people, places, and things is not always accurate, or not exactly. For instance, today we had to pick Bret up after work because it was raining and he had ridden his bike. We couldn't drive in front of his office due to a downtown street festival, so we picked him up in front of Court Services under an awning on the next block. Henry says, "Hey Papa, so you're all done with Drug Court?" He read the sign on the window. Bret is not involved with drug court, promise.
3. Toby likes pretend play, and like most two year olds, he likes mimicking what he sees at home. Please don't freak out if he takes a baby doll, points at it's butt, and says "baby has to be brave. I have to put it in. Be brave baby." Remember, Henry has Aspergers! Part of his protocol is a small shot in the butt cheek every other night. I've gotten better at doing it, he's gotten braver, but it makes things sound totally sketchy. They aren't.
4. When out in public, Henry sometimes throws a fit and we have to physically pick him up and move him. He's usually screaming, and lately it's been screaming things like "you are hurting me! Stop hurting me!!" I assure you, even when frustrated, we are very gentle. In these situations we are even more gentle, because he's list in an Aspie world and we can't even be genuinely mad at him, just help him through to the other side. Toby mimics. We aren't hurting him either, I swear!
5. They make up words. I got nothing for you there.
6. They might ask you about your boobs. Toby especially. He was really into nursing, that's all I got. I apologize in advance. They mean no harm.
7. They like crashing. If conversation stops mid-sentence and one or both throws himself at you, be tough. Be prepared. They are both heavy, so don't engage in a throwing them in the air game after crashing begins, you'll wreck yourself, I swear.
There are seven million more things, but here's a start.
Oh, and thanks for being my platform to test the new Blogger app - it's not bad!
Love, V
Friday, September 9, 2011
Evil Witch of the East Coffee Cake
Every now and then you crave something sweet, absurdly easy, terrible for you, but really delightfully delicious. This cake is great warm from the oven, and keeps beautifully, for days in the fridge. It's great for a completely unhealthy breakfast, tea and coffee treat, or as full-on dessert. It's a little trashy though. I stole the recipe from my ex-boyfriend's mother, who was a wretched witch, trust me.
I was going to make this coffee cake when we were visiting my brother and his wife last weekend, but due to those little "sugar free" pudding packets, my plans were thwarted. No, this recipe requires full sugar, instant pudding, so don't go trying to be healthy. This is EVIL cake. Be careful shopping - the sugar free and "cook to serve" packets will try to trick you. I made it this week after spending spending an inordinate amount of time looking at the pudding shelf in the grocery store.
Evil Witch of the East Coffee Cake*
Cake:
1 box yellow cake mix (go with whatever is the cheapest)
1 small box instant vanilla pudding mix
1 small box instant butterscotch pudding mix
4 eggs
1 cup oil
1 cup water
Topping:
1 cup brown sugar
1.5 cups chopped walnuts
1-3 tsp cinnamon
Preheat oven to 350. Mix topping, using more or less of the three ingredients to taste (it's just supposed to be a yummy mix, use lots of what you like). Set aside topping.
Mix up all cake ingredients until well-combined. Pour half the batter into an ungreased 9x13" pan. Crumble half the topping mix over the top. Pour the rest of the batter out on top, as evenly as you can (it will clump, that's OK - just try to get some mostly all over). Crumble remaining topping over the top.
Pop that evil beast into the oven for 10 minutes, then turn down the heat to 325 and let her cook another 35 minutes more.
*To make it Evil Witch of the West Cake, like I did for the photo below, substitute pistachio pudding for butterscotch. Green and deliciously evil.
I was going to make this coffee cake when we were visiting my brother and his wife last weekend, but due to those little "sugar free" pudding packets, my plans were thwarted. No, this recipe requires full sugar, instant pudding, so don't go trying to be healthy. This is EVIL cake. Be careful shopping - the sugar free and "cook to serve" packets will try to trick you. I made it this week after spending spending an inordinate amount of time looking at the pudding shelf in the grocery store.
Evil Witch of the East Coffee Cake*
Cake:
1 box yellow cake mix (go with whatever is the cheapest)
1 small box instant vanilla pudding mix
1 small box instant butterscotch pudding mix
4 eggs
1 cup oil
1 cup water
Topping:
1 cup brown sugar
1.5 cups chopped walnuts
1-3 tsp cinnamon
Preheat oven to 350. Mix topping, using more or less of the three ingredients to taste (it's just supposed to be a yummy mix, use lots of what you like). Set aside topping.
Mix up all cake ingredients until well-combined. Pour half the batter into an ungreased 9x13" pan. Crumble half the topping mix over the top. Pour the rest of the batter out on top, as evenly as you can (it will clump, that's OK - just try to get some mostly all over). Crumble remaining topping over the top.
Pop that evil beast into the oven for 10 minutes, then turn down the heat to 325 and let her cook another 35 minutes more.
*To make it Evil Witch of the West Cake, like I did for the photo below, substitute pistachio pudding for butterscotch. Green and deliciously evil.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Summer Vacation
Remember that aspirational blog schedule? Yeah, me either.
I'm on summer vacation. Of course, by summer vacation I mean frantic driving about town to an absurd number of appointments, juggling kid schedules that keep changing, and trying to do all of this in the air conditioning because we live in a Florida swamp.
But seriously, I have actually been meeting up with mamas for knitting, and doing things like canning and baking and yogurt making. We are making fresh peach vodka (hello!) and some fun and fancy meals that I have pleased me. We've made pickles and jam and bread galore, and I am shopping as much as possible for whole foods and raw foods at the co-op, or bartering with friends, and things are kind of awesome. We are finally (finally!) moving into some real, actual, working progress in the remodel arena, and planning a yard sale this weekend. Seriously, I think we are getting life together, bit by bit, so the blog has been neglected.
But here are some fun pictures of my canning escapades last weekend. We got some new equipment, which is lovely, and I salvaged some old equipment from my mother's days of canning madness. This year I got started late, so I'm making jam from fresh-frozen berries we picked, hulled, and froze months ago. Fortunately, things are working OK. Henry. Maya, and Lantz have all, so far, given it seals of approval, and that's a tough crowd.
I'll be back on the blogging track after Labor Day. We head out to Alabama for Labor Day weekend to visit my brother and his lovely wife in Birmingham, and when we return, both boys will be in preschool. So, even though the whole construction thing will be stressing me out and all that, I have a feeling I will finally have some time to sit, and think, and write a few things down. Possibly even not-kid-related things. Jeezey creezey.
So canning fun - strawberry jam - let me know if you want some, I need to share and keep rolling it out, we have lots of frozen berries!
I'm on summer vacation. Of course, by summer vacation I mean frantic driving about town to an absurd number of appointments, juggling kid schedules that keep changing, and trying to do all of this in the air conditioning because we live in a Florida swamp.
But seriously, I have actually been meeting up with mamas for knitting, and doing things like canning and baking and yogurt making. We are making fresh peach vodka (hello!) and some fun and fancy meals that I have pleased me. We've made pickles and jam and bread galore, and I am shopping as much as possible for whole foods and raw foods at the co-op, or bartering with friends, and things are kind of awesome. We are finally (finally!) moving into some real, actual, working progress in the remodel arena, and planning a yard sale this weekend. Seriously, I think we are getting life together, bit by bit, so the blog has been neglected.
But here are some fun pictures of my canning escapades last weekend. We got some new equipment, which is lovely, and I salvaged some old equipment from my mother's days of canning madness. This year I got started late, so I'm making jam from fresh-frozen berries we picked, hulled, and froze months ago. Fortunately, things are working OK. Henry. Maya, and Lantz have all, so far, given it seals of approval, and that's a tough crowd.
I'll be back on the blogging track after Labor Day. We head out to Alabama for Labor Day weekend to visit my brother and his lovely wife in Birmingham, and when we return, both boys will be in preschool. So, even though the whole construction thing will be stressing me out and all that, I have a feeling I will finally have some time to sit, and think, and write a few things down. Possibly even not-kid-related things. Jeezey creezey.
So canning fun - strawberry jam - let me know if you want some, I need to share and keep rolling it out, we have lots of frozen berries!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Open Letter to my label maker
When I rescued you from the trash at my mom's house I never imagined the live affair we would have. You had me at "this is a test" and I can't imagine life without you.
I have to warn you, Bret knows. But I suspect he will let it slide and we can continue to make beautiful informational stickers together (presuming I can still find replacement tape and toner, but I can't even begin to contemplate a world without you, so let's put that aside!)
Love, v
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Weekend plans
Saturday:
Movies and dinner with kids (check!)
Cleaning around the house
Mall shopping and returning and playing and lunching
Mad Men (three episodes, oh my)
Movies and dinner with kids (check!)
Cleaning around the house
Mall shopping and returning and playing and lunching
Mad Men (three episodes, oh my)
Sunday:
Canning (jam)
Cooking (soup)
Brewing (beer)
Kombucha (tasty and healthy grossness)
Baking bread
Installing shelves
Setting up new printer
Planning for first day of school for Toby
Oh, and mama gets to sleep in (ROCK!!!!!!)
Yeah, it's a good weekend. We will also do plenty of playing and creating and running and sweating, but you know, goals serve lists far better than fun.
Love, V
------
Sent from my iPhone.
http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
No good excuse
I know, I owe you. I know.
Henry is finally mending, and things here are settling down. Got terribly unexpected and sad news today about the death of a friend's husband, processing.
Bed early. No catch ups, no reviews. That's ok sometimes, right?
------
Sent from my iPhone.
http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Open Letter to My Super-Secret Raw Milk Source
Dear SSRMS,
You rock my world, and your cow makes some damn fine milk. If (as a collective) we weren't so silly about food rules in this country, I would be way more blabby about this fresh milk thing, because good gracious, it's divine. As it is, I suppose I'm OK. I kind of like feeling a little scandalous when I'm eating yogurt.
A thousand times, thank you!!
Love, Virginia
You rock my world, and your cow makes some damn fine milk. If (as a collective) we weren't so silly about food rules in this country, I would be way more blabby about this fresh milk thing, because good gracious, it's divine. As it is, I suppose I'm OK. I kind of like feeling a little scandalous when I'm eating yogurt.
A thousand times, thank you!!
Love, Virginia
Saturday, July 30, 2011
No Knead Bread
Now that it's out of the oven and taste-tested, I can give my thumbs up to The Steamy Kitchen blog for this fantastic tutorial on No Knead Bread. While it really is quite easy, my four year old wasn't that into making it. He did, however, proclaim, joyfully, "It tastes like bread!" a few minutes ago, which is high praise from Henry.
So, you can get all the nitty gritty steps from the tutorial (it's very good), but I will just tell you that I used her whole wheat flour secret, but not her salt secret (kosher was not on hand, table was; this was weird but there it is). I let it sleep overnight for about 15-16 hours, and it's nap was a little long (2 and a half hours) because I forgot to pop the pot in to preheat, and then couldn't hear the timer going off for like five minutes because Henry and I were deep into a YouTube exploration in the bathroom (another story for another time). I swear all of that will make more sense if you read the tutorial.
Delicious, and easy enough that I just might become the bread baker around here... Check out the lovely steps I remembered to photograph!
Here is the dough after it slept overnight:
These are of the dough getting tucked in and taking its nap before growing again:
Ooooh, pretty new pot ready to get dough plopped into it for the baking!
And, the final product:
Now, go make this because you totally can. Seriously, it is crazy easy and so delicious. Yum!
So, you can get all the nitty gritty steps from the tutorial (it's very good), but I will just tell you that I used her whole wheat flour secret, but not her salt secret (kosher was not on hand, table was; this was weird but there it is). I let it sleep overnight for about 15-16 hours, and it's nap was a little long (2 and a half hours) because I forgot to pop the pot in to preheat, and then couldn't hear the timer going off for like five minutes because Henry and I were deep into a YouTube exploration in the bathroom (another story for another time). I swear all of that will make more sense if you read the tutorial.
Delicious, and easy enough that I just might become the bread baker around here... Check out the lovely steps I remembered to photograph!
Here is the dough after it slept overnight:
These are of the dough getting tucked in and taking its nap before growing again:
Ooooh, pretty new pot ready to get dough plopped into it for the baking!
And, the final product:
Now, go make this because you totally can. Seriously, it is crazy easy and so delicious. Yum!
Make Something Friday: Well, it got started!
I'm making no-knead bread this weekend. It got started last night (counts for Friday!) and I will post photos and a link to the tutorial I used as soon as it's done later today. Mmmmm, bread. Oh, and I'm using my new Le Creuset. Woot!
------
Sent from my iPhone.
http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Wordless Wednesday: From-scratch (less magic pasta) soup, Co-op and homemade goodness, Poor Henry of the bum eye
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Raincheck
So, as soon as I can. Or next week. Alan Bradley. I'm on it.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Open Letter to Toby, on this stormy night
Dear Toby,
I know that the sudden thunderstorm that had lasted through the late afternoon into the evening has been different. We don't usually get them for so long, so I can tell you are a little shaken. You are sleeping in a new bed, and you are learning all these new words, and your imagination is running wild. But here's the thing:
Tonight is not the night to spontaneously decide that the sound of thunder is really the sound of a monster coming, and therefore terrifying. It's also not the night to start screaming this at your brother, and freaking him out a little bit (even though he really doesn't think it's a monster coming. He just doesn't like unpredictable, loud sounds, and once he's a little on edge, the sound itself freaks him out. You aren't helping).
Last night you woke us up at midnight, and got papa and Henry up for the day around 4:00am, so while YOU got a nap, no one else did and everyone else could really use a peaceful night. Of sleep. Seriously, sleep. This monster business just will not do.
So, sweet darling, enjoy the slushy sound of the rain, and the cars driving on wet roads, let the thunder rumble through you, relax and go to sleep. Please. Please. Please.
Love and kisses,
Mama
I know that the sudden thunderstorm that had lasted through the late afternoon into the evening has been different. We don't usually get them for so long, so I can tell you are a little shaken. You are sleeping in a new bed, and you are learning all these new words, and your imagination is running wild. But here's the thing:
Tonight is not the night to spontaneously decide that the sound of thunder is really the sound of a monster coming, and therefore terrifying. It's also not the night to start screaming this at your brother, and freaking him out a little bit (even though he really doesn't think it's a monster coming. He just doesn't like unpredictable, loud sounds, and once he's a little on edge, the sound itself freaks him out. You aren't helping).
Last night you woke us up at midnight, and got papa and Henry up for the day around 4:00am, so while YOU got a nap, no one else did and everyone else could really use a peaceful night. Of sleep. Seriously, sleep. This monster business just will not do.
So, sweet darling, enjoy the slushy sound of the rain, and the cars driving on wet roads, let the thunder rumble through you, relax and go to sleep. Please. Please. Please.
Love and kisses,
Mama
Friday, July 22, 2011
Make Something Friday: Celebration Ring
In these dog days of summer, our little family unit doesn't have any birthdays to celebrate for a good long while, so why I am planning this Celebration Ring project above others is not something that makes a tiny bit of logical sense.
I am just completely in love with it, have all the necessary materials, and can do it in my lap on the couch - WINNER!
I found it on a lovely and inspiring blog - Rhythm & Rhyme - which has given me yet another reason to want to move to Australia.
If you are not familiar with Waldorf education, and Waldorf-style birthday celebrations for small children, you won't say "be still my heart!" just looking at this piece. But, if you have ever had the distinct joy of celebrating your child's birthday with his or her Waldorf class, you might be crying already.
I knew there was a magical birthday tradition at Henry's preschool, and I knew everyone loved it, but I was fully unprepared for how amazing, beautiful, moving - good lord, who even has the words? I sat in a room of silent two, three and four year olds, next to Henry, wearing his crown and rainbow cape, while his teacher told the most amazing story about a little boy choosing his family and coming through the clouds and across the rainbow bridge to join them. He knew exactly what to do, and crossed the little bridge, and did the candles, and it was magic. I sat there and cried, and smiled, and cried. And not a kid in the room looked at me funny, because I am guessing that I am not the first parent to sit there sobbing filled with love and joy and pride, but also humbling, pure, raw emotion. (Full disclosure, thinking back on it now and typing the overview is making me sit here and cry. It was so moving.) After the tradition was finished, we shared lovely special snack, and felt so lucky to have him in this world with me.
So with the rainbow bridge, there is this deep and beautiful meaning for me, and I hope for the boys since they are (or will be) getting Waldorf education. Gnomes are a central part of Henry's school and the Waldorf tradition and folklore embodied in so many of the stories, and the natural light of candles can be so calming. It's a simple little project, but one that I am really looking forward to making.
Oh, and I'm hoping to get shelves installed, the boys' bedroom together for sharing, the baby furniture sold on craigslist, and the nursery turned into an office. Before Monday. Happy weekend!
I found it on a lovely and inspiring blog - Rhythm & Rhyme - which has given me yet another reason to want to move to Australia.
If you are not familiar with Waldorf education, and Waldorf-style birthday celebrations for small children, you won't say "be still my heart!" just looking at this piece. But, if you have ever had the distinct joy of celebrating your child's birthday with his or her Waldorf class, you might be crying already.
I knew there was a magical birthday tradition at Henry's preschool, and I knew everyone loved it, but I was fully unprepared for how amazing, beautiful, moving - good lord, who even has the words? I sat in a room of silent two, three and four year olds, next to Henry, wearing his crown and rainbow cape, while his teacher told the most amazing story about a little boy choosing his family and coming through the clouds and across the rainbow bridge to join them. He knew exactly what to do, and crossed the little bridge, and did the candles, and it was magic. I sat there and cried, and smiled, and cried. And not a kid in the room looked at me funny, because I am guessing that I am not the first parent to sit there sobbing filled with love and joy and pride, but also humbling, pure, raw emotion. (Full disclosure, thinking back on it now and typing the overview is making me sit here and cry. It was so moving.) After the tradition was finished, we shared lovely special snack, and felt so lucky to have him in this world with me.
So with the rainbow bridge, there is this deep and beautiful meaning for me, and I hope for the boys since they are (or will be) getting Waldorf education. Gnomes are a central part of Henry's school and the Waldorf tradition and folklore embodied in so many of the stories, and the natural light of candles can be so calming. It's a simple little project, but one that I am really looking forward to making.
Oh, and I'm hoping to get shelves installed, the boys' bedroom together for sharing, the baby furniture sold on craigslist, and the nursery turned into an office. Before Monday. Happy weekend!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Bookish Tuesday: The Passage
The Passage
by Justin Cronin
I haven't seen an actual copy of this book, but have read elsewhere that it's huge. It took a good long time to read, given my general free-time constraints, but managed to get through the lots of dots on my Kindle. Finishing it made me feel accomplished, in part because it's a big book, and in part because I wasn't really that into it toward the end. The second half really. It picked up, but not a lot, right at the end. Just to preemptively tell you my rating, it's kind of an "eh" three stars.
Let me explain a bit about what drew me to the book, because I genuinely don't read this sort of thing with any regularity. I heard the author interviewed on NPR by Neal Conan, a couple of times, and the book sounded interesting if only because it was inspired by the author's conversations with his daughter, who told him his other work (award-winning modern fiction with which I am not familiar) was boring. She wanted him to write a book about a girl who saves the world. So, together they mapped an outline for this story, and he began writing the first of what he envisioned as three books. He submitted the first 400 pages under a pseudonym to his publisher (details about that I don't know, so don't ask me) and they picked it up and paid him big bucks to finish it. Oh, and he also sold movie rights before the book was finished.
What the heck is this book anyway? It's a story about militarily-engineered viral vampires/zombies, who are super-fast, glow in the dark, don't die unless shot down the throat or decapitated, and very specifically keep some of their prey alive, to facilitate the continuation of their new "species." There is also a girl, infected similarly but not bloodthirsty, who we know will save the world that has fallen into a strange, post-apocalyptic chaos with small colonies in the hundred years after the vamps have escaped, multiplied, and destroyed at least the United States (who knows about the rest of the world that tried to quarantine the outbreak). Oh, and these vampire-zombies are ugly, really disgusting, do not hang out looking cute, and are adept at ESP, mind control, and communication through telepathy.
Elements of zombies, elements, of vampires, elements of the modern take on both (think 28 Days Later), elements of epic clan-based books that envision a different human existence... All totally out of the box for my general pile of books. I'm not even into Twilight and that crap.
I did really like the first half of the book. Oddly, the whole storyline leading up to the creation of the contagion, the creation of the creatures, their escape, and the existence of the world in which everything was frightening and falling apart was compelling reading. Sure, we are talking pulp. This is not fantastic literature or anything, but there were some interesting characters, interesting stories, and compelling plot lines to pull things along. And the world of the novel's opening sequences is also in the future, so while it felt a bit clumsy at times, there was a certain element of fantasy even in what was recognizable and mundane, so it was not just a story about the military (with the help of private contractors) making vampire-zombies.
The huge jump that happens at a certain point draws you about a hundred years into the future, into a world where a small colony of people has cobbled out an existence that relies on light for life - daylight and huge lights on barricades surrounding the compound at night to keep the vamps away. The new society has created strange rules, and has created some strange idioms that I never really bought, as they were reminiscent of what seemed like an attempt to create slang in Star Wars: Episode 1 when Anniken wouldn't shut up about "wizard!" and it fell flat.
It was hard to immediately connect with all of these new characters, because everyone you had come to know in the first half of the book was dead or disappeared. what I find interesting looking back is that by the time I did get through the last 400 pages or so, I had come to at least moderately care about the new characters, or at least be interested in their journey. And while there were plot points that were, well, cheesy or contrived, it did regain my interest in the final pages. I was curious at the very least, about where things were going and how they would get there. And I do want to know how this girl will save the world.
If I didn't know the basis for the book, I'd be done with it. But there is something really interesting to me about a story that was functionally co-imagined by a father and daughter, and which has a powerful girl as savior at the center. I also heard in the NPR interview that the subsequent books won't just pick up where this book left off, but rather take us back to the moment the world falls apart and pick up a thread, adding to the world we have come to know through the second part of this first book. Which sounds more interesting than just finding out how the girl saves the world in another 1600 pages. So in a couple of years when the next book arrives, I'll probably read it. OK, I will definitely read it, I am curious. While it's genuinely crap, it's engaging enough for bedtime or beach blanket reading.
I should note that I have a crazy love/hate relationship with both vampires and zombies. I get completely freaked out by them, to the point of panic attacks in the middle of the night, and terrible nightmares, but I also kind of love them. Not the sexy ones, the really scary ones. I don't really get that. I am terrified of spiders, but if you asked me to get near one or to watch a movie about them, I'd freak out, run away, and flip you the bird from across the room. For some reason, I'm finding these creepy guys compelling, and I'm even slightly interested in what happens with this movie they a making, because the book kind of reads like it was planned as the bones for a screenplay. It could be terrifying or awful; it all depends on how they handle it, but I guess I will have to wait and see about that too.
In terms of the meanings behind this book, you could read a lot of things into the subtext, but none of it is hidden, subtle, or interesting. I would say that maybe it could end up in a more interesting place, but I'm not holding my breath. This is the type of book that is aware of it's genre placement, the political implications of it's placement, and tries to have subtext, but it's all floating right on top. It's no The Road, which is actually a deeply felt meditation on the human condition, the environment, the world and how we live. It's just all right there. It won't move you, or even really make you think, but that's OK right?
Next week, more pulp, but fun pulp. I'm thinking I will reveal my love for British mystery in all it's glory, and revel in my love for the new-ish Flavia deLuce series by Alan Bradley, starting with The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie.
by Justin Cronin
I haven't seen an actual copy of this book, but have read elsewhere that it's huge. It took a good long time to read, given my general free-time constraints, but managed to get through the lots of dots on my Kindle. Finishing it made me feel accomplished, in part because it's a big book, and in part because I wasn't really that into it toward the end. The second half really. It picked up, but not a lot, right at the end. Just to preemptively tell you my rating, it's kind of an "eh" three stars.
Let me explain a bit about what drew me to the book, because I genuinely don't read this sort of thing with any regularity. I heard the author interviewed on NPR by Neal Conan, a couple of times, and the book sounded interesting if only because it was inspired by the author's conversations with his daughter, who told him his other work (award-winning modern fiction with which I am not familiar) was boring. She wanted him to write a book about a girl who saves the world. So, together they mapped an outline for this story, and he began writing the first of what he envisioned as three books. He submitted the first 400 pages under a pseudonym to his publisher (details about that I don't know, so don't ask me) and they picked it up and paid him big bucks to finish it. Oh, and he also sold movie rights before the book was finished.
What the heck is this book anyway? It's a story about militarily-engineered viral vampires/zombies, who are super-fast, glow in the dark, don't die unless shot down the throat or decapitated, and very specifically keep some of their prey alive, to facilitate the continuation of their new "species." There is also a girl, infected similarly but not bloodthirsty, who we know will save the world that has fallen into a strange, post-apocalyptic chaos with small colonies in the hundred years after the vamps have escaped, multiplied, and destroyed at least the United States (who knows about the rest of the world that tried to quarantine the outbreak). Oh, and these vampire-zombies are ugly, really disgusting, do not hang out looking cute, and are adept at ESP, mind control, and communication through telepathy.
Elements of zombies, elements, of vampires, elements of the modern take on both (think 28 Days Later), elements of epic clan-based books that envision a different human existence... All totally out of the box for my general pile of books. I'm not even into Twilight and that crap.
I did really like the first half of the book. Oddly, the whole storyline leading up to the creation of the contagion, the creation of the creatures, their escape, and the existence of the world in which everything was frightening and falling apart was compelling reading. Sure, we are talking pulp. This is not fantastic literature or anything, but there were some interesting characters, interesting stories, and compelling plot lines to pull things along. And the world of the novel's opening sequences is also in the future, so while it felt a bit clumsy at times, there was a certain element of fantasy even in what was recognizable and mundane, so it was not just a story about the military (with the help of private contractors) making vampire-zombies.
The huge jump that happens at a certain point draws you about a hundred years into the future, into a world where a small colony of people has cobbled out an existence that relies on light for life - daylight and huge lights on barricades surrounding the compound at night to keep the vamps away. The new society has created strange rules, and has created some strange idioms that I never really bought, as they were reminiscent of what seemed like an attempt to create slang in Star Wars: Episode 1 when Anniken wouldn't shut up about "wizard!" and it fell flat.
It was hard to immediately connect with all of these new characters, because everyone you had come to know in the first half of the book was dead or disappeared. what I find interesting looking back is that by the time I did get through the last 400 pages or so, I had come to at least moderately care about the new characters, or at least be interested in their journey. And while there were plot points that were, well, cheesy or contrived, it did regain my interest in the final pages. I was curious at the very least, about where things were going and how they would get there. And I do want to know how this girl will save the world.
If I didn't know the basis for the book, I'd be done with it. But there is something really interesting to me about a story that was functionally co-imagined by a father and daughter, and which has a powerful girl as savior at the center. I also heard in the NPR interview that the subsequent books won't just pick up where this book left off, but rather take us back to the moment the world falls apart and pick up a thread, adding to the world we have come to know through the second part of this first book. Which sounds more interesting than just finding out how the girl saves the world in another 1600 pages. So in a couple of years when the next book arrives, I'll probably read it. OK, I will definitely read it, I am curious. While it's genuinely crap, it's engaging enough for bedtime or beach blanket reading.
I should note that I have a crazy love/hate relationship with both vampires and zombies. I get completely freaked out by them, to the point of panic attacks in the middle of the night, and terrible nightmares, but I also kind of love them. Not the sexy ones, the really scary ones. I don't really get that. I am terrified of spiders, but if you asked me to get near one or to watch a movie about them, I'd freak out, run away, and flip you the bird from across the room. For some reason, I'm finding these creepy guys compelling, and I'm even slightly interested in what happens with this movie they a making, because the book kind of reads like it was planned as the bones for a screenplay. It could be terrifying or awful; it all depends on how they handle it, but I guess I will have to wait and see about that too.
In terms of the meanings behind this book, you could read a lot of things into the subtext, but none of it is hidden, subtle, or interesting. I would say that maybe it could end up in a more interesting place, but I'm not holding my breath. This is the type of book that is aware of it's genre placement, the political implications of it's placement, and tries to have subtext, but it's all floating right on top. It's no The Road, which is actually a deeply felt meditation on the human condition, the environment, the world and how we live. It's just all right there. It won't move you, or even really make you think, but that's OK right?
Next week, more pulp, but fun pulp. I'm thinking I will reveal my love for British mystery in all it's glory, and revel in my love for the new-ish Flavia deLuce series by Alan Bradley, starting with The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Mama Monday, Take One
Sometimes getting it together to do the things that would make me super-mama is a way bigger challenge than finding the initial inspiration. Take, for example, me desire to simplify our lives, our house, our schedule, and be more present with my kids. Has it happened in the magical way I envisioned it? Oh, hell no. Has it happened, really, at all? Maybe a tiny bit. A teeny tiny bit.
I have a list of craft projects that I *really* want to do hanging out bookmarked on my new computer, but I also have a list of books to read, things to clean, projects around the house, and other crafty projects that are not bookmarked to attend to - and that is if I have the motivation to anything other than eat ice cream and pie and watch TV. (OK, so that's just what I will probably do tonight, because I did bake a kickin' blueberry pie past night, so you know...)
I have been getting some knitting done. I have also been getting a little bit of research and organizing done to help me navigate Henry and his Aspergers. Of course, Toby has been in full time daycare the past week, and will be for the next month, and Henry has not been in school at all, so honestly scheduling has been so much easier for me. Whether it's all less stressful for the kids, eh?
I need tips from mamas or others on a few fronts, because I have these aspirations and I would really like to accomplish, and would love a little advice on making it come together:
1. Whole foods. While I would love to say that we never eat anything packaged, or take out, or crappy, we do. I am probably worse than the kids or Bret, but the reality is that our goals of not purchasing things we can make has not really worked out so well. We were doing better when we had the share from the CSA, but even then, I would hit the end of the day and not feel like cooking, and either cobble together something fast and dirty (and not generally something that Jamie Oliver would look kindly upon) or grab take out. Blech. We want to be baking bread, making cheese and yogurt, making crackers (maybe, that seems like it could be crazy-talk with my little nutters), making bagels... BUT, cooking with our crazy children around is next to impossible. By the time we hit the weekend, if Bret's inspired to make things, I've just gotten desperate for a break from being touched and whined at all the time, and hate letting him take off into the kitchen for hours. I don't really want to be in the kitchen for hours on end, in part because I am lacking in inspiration and confidence, and in part because I long for pre-kid weekends of sloth. Help me people. I need tips to inspire, and tips on freezer-ready foods! We do have a huge chest freezer, and having one cooking day a week and a few frozen-dinner-we-made-ourselves meals a week would be completely acceptable. Now if I could just get Henry to eat these things...
2. Crafting. I love knitting, handwork, needlework, blah blah - I need more time and more space for all of this craziness. I am getting better about keeping the stash manageable, and also getting better about not stockpiling too many projects because I am always finding new ones, but how do you crafty mamas do it? I see these amazing blogs, and I think to myself, "Self, these mamas cook from scratch, nourish their children's souls, look cute, make everything, and also take fashionably adorable photos of their cooking, houses, crafts, and clean children all the time. What gives?" Oh, and they have like five kids under seven to boot. Beyond the question of Who the hell are these people?, I want to know how they have the time to even create the image that they are making all this happen, and blogging about it?!?! It means that on some level the level of craftiness I want in my life must be possible, because I don't feel the need to be many of those other kinds of together, but I would like to be able to make a damn quilt once in a while.
3. Playdates. Where are you people and how can I find you? And how does anyone with children hang out with other people ever, because even with our more mellow schedule, I don't know that I could coordinate a playdate if I was getting paid to do it right now. Henry could use some more playdates, so holla!
4. General house maintenance. I feel like as we prep to do these renovations, everything is kind of falling apart. But I still need to call a plumber, possibly the alarm company, just had the phone company here, just got the AC fixed... Looking around, there are things that need painting, everything needs dusting, the exterior needs a good pressure-washing at minimum, every room could be cleaned out and reorganized. I don't have the time for any of this, let alone all of it so that we can have a nice house that's all put together. Or even a yard sale that would clear things out and also make us some money. It's like even these seemingly smaller-scale projects get swallowed in this overarching whole that is just, well, overwhelming. Not overwhelming in an end-of-the-world, or Hoarders kind of way, but just a little overwhelming. Enough to make me say a swear word under my breath and then opt to eat a piece of pie (I still need to go do that...)
So, send me your tips on whole foods (from scratch) cooking, baking, and canning, creating space for crafting, paying well with others, and generally getting my house in order. I know these are some of the ever-present mama issues, but whatever. I have to ask.
On another note, Toby and Henry are sharing "their" room for the first time tonight, so think happy thoughts for good bunk bed sleepers, with pleasant pixie dreams!
I have a list of craft projects that I *really* want to do hanging out bookmarked on my new computer, but I also have a list of books to read, things to clean, projects around the house, and other crafty projects that are not bookmarked to attend to - and that is if I have the motivation to anything other than eat ice cream and pie and watch TV. (OK, so that's just what I will probably do tonight, because I did bake a kickin' blueberry pie past night, so you know...)
I have been getting some knitting done. I have also been getting a little bit of research and organizing done to help me navigate Henry and his Aspergers. Of course, Toby has been in full time daycare the past week, and will be for the next month, and Henry has not been in school at all, so honestly scheduling has been so much easier for me. Whether it's all less stressful for the kids, eh?
I need tips from mamas or others on a few fronts, because I have these aspirations and I would really like to accomplish, and would love a little advice on making it come together:
1. Whole foods. While I would love to say that we never eat anything packaged, or take out, or crappy, we do. I am probably worse than the kids or Bret, but the reality is that our goals of not purchasing things we can make has not really worked out so well. We were doing better when we had the share from the CSA, but even then, I would hit the end of the day and not feel like cooking, and either cobble together something fast and dirty (and not generally something that Jamie Oliver would look kindly upon) or grab take out. Blech. We want to be baking bread, making cheese and yogurt, making crackers (maybe, that seems like it could be crazy-talk with my little nutters), making bagels... BUT, cooking with our crazy children around is next to impossible. By the time we hit the weekend, if Bret's inspired to make things, I've just gotten desperate for a break from being touched and whined at all the time, and hate letting him take off into the kitchen for hours. I don't really want to be in the kitchen for hours on end, in part because I am lacking in inspiration and confidence, and in part because I long for pre-kid weekends of sloth. Help me people. I need tips to inspire, and tips on freezer-ready foods! We do have a huge chest freezer, and having one cooking day a week and a few frozen-dinner-we-made-ourselves meals a week would be completely acceptable. Now if I could just get Henry to eat these things...
2. Crafting. I love knitting, handwork, needlework, blah blah - I need more time and more space for all of this craziness. I am getting better about keeping the stash manageable, and also getting better about not stockpiling too many projects because I am always finding new ones, but how do you crafty mamas do it? I see these amazing blogs, and I think to myself, "Self, these mamas cook from scratch, nourish their children's souls, look cute, make everything, and also take fashionably adorable photos of their cooking, houses, crafts, and clean children all the time. What gives?" Oh, and they have like five kids under seven to boot. Beyond the question of Who the hell are these people?, I want to know how they have the time to even create the image that they are making all this happen, and blogging about it?!?! It means that on some level the level of craftiness I want in my life must be possible, because I don't feel the need to be many of those other kinds of together, but I would like to be able to make a damn quilt once in a while.
3. Playdates. Where are you people and how can I find you? And how does anyone with children hang out with other people ever, because even with our more mellow schedule, I don't know that I could coordinate a playdate if I was getting paid to do it right now. Henry could use some more playdates, so holla!
4. General house maintenance. I feel like as we prep to do these renovations, everything is kind of falling apart. But I still need to call a plumber, possibly the alarm company, just had the phone company here, just got the AC fixed... Looking around, there are things that need painting, everything needs dusting, the exterior needs a good pressure-washing at minimum, every room could be cleaned out and reorganized. I don't have the time for any of this, let alone all of it so that we can have a nice house that's all put together. Or even a yard sale that would clear things out and also make us some money. It's like even these seemingly smaller-scale projects get swallowed in this overarching whole that is just, well, overwhelming. Not overwhelming in an end-of-the-world, or Hoarders kind of way, but just a little overwhelming. Enough to make me say a swear word under my breath and then opt to eat a piece of pie (I still need to go do that...)
So, send me your tips on whole foods (from scratch) cooking, baking, and canning, creating space for crafting, paying well with others, and generally getting my house in order. I know these are some of the ever-present mama issues, but whatever. I have to ask.
On another note, Toby and Henry are sharing "their" room for the first time tonight, so think happy thoughts for good bunk bed sleepers, with pleasant pixie dreams!
Open letter to sleep
Dear sleep,
Good friend, let's hang out more. I'm talking quality time, k?
Hugs and kisses,
V
------
Sent from my iPhone.
http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/
Friday, July 15, 2011
Make Something Friday, Take One: Easy peasy cotton knit baby blanket pattern
This weekend I have the daunting task of finishing two baby blankets for newborns that I need to visit (read, cuddle) next week. One is just a few short rows of seed stitch away, the other has a bit more to go,, but all in garter, so easy going.
Here is the simple pattern for an easy baby blanket, perfect for summer babes:
Four fat skeins cotton yarn
Size 9 circular needles
Scissors and tapestry needle
Using long-tail cast-on, cast on about 150 stitches. (You are going for about 30-36")
Knit one, purl one, to the end of the row. If you end on a knit stitch, on the second row start on a knit stitch (start on a purl if you end on a purl). do this seed stitch for about twelve rows.
For the next row, you can decide if you want the edges down he sides to be in garter stitch (flexible) or seed stitch. If you are doing the garter option, knit across one row. On the next row, knit nine stitches, then purl across, knitting the last nine stitches. Repeat those two rows until you have your blanket, then repeat the seed stitch patterfor twelve rows and cast off. if you opt for seed stitch edging, knit one, purl one alternating for nine stitches on the ends. Stockinette the middle. Seed the bottom edge.
Easy peasy.
I'll post some pictures when I get them together, and baby Cooperr has gotten his little present!
Here is the simple pattern for an easy baby blanket, perfect for summer babes:
Four fat skeins cotton yarn
Size 9 circular needles
Scissors and tapestry needle
Using long-tail cast-on, cast on about 150 stitches. (You are going for about 30-36")
Knit one, purl one, to the end of the row. If you end on a knit stitch, on the second row start on a knit stitch (start on a purl if you end on a purl). do this seed stitch for about twelve rows.
For the next row, you can decide if you want the edges down he sides to be in garter stitch (flexible) or seed stitch. If you are doing the garter option, knit across one row. On the next row, knit nine stitches, then purl across, knitting the last nine stitches. Repeat those two rows until you have your blanket, then repeat the seed stitch patterfor twelve rows and cast off. if you opt for seed stitch edging, knit one, purl one alternating for nine stitches on the ends. Stockinette the middle. Seed the bottom edge.
Easy peasy.
I'll post some pictures when I get them together, and baby Cooperr has gotten his little present!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Bookish Tuesdays: The Anti-Romantic Child
This is the first of what I hope will be a regular addition to the weekly lineup on this blog. I'm not actually reading a book a week, yet anyway, but I have been reading and can do some catching up while my "pile" of books also starts to get smaller...
by Priscilla Gilman
Just because I am way out of practice, here is the blurb to give you a sense of what I was walking into reading this book:
"The daughter of literary agent Lynn Nesbit and the late theater drama critic Richard Gilman crafts a beautifully sinuous and intensely literary celebration of the exceptional, unconventional child. Her son, Benjamin, was born when she and her academic husband, Richard, were in graduate school at Yale, where she was still working on her dissertation on the Romantic English poet William Wordsworth. As "Benj" grew older and failed to hit the usual milestones of children his age, exhibiting brilliant but "odd" behavior such as an obsession with numbers, aversion to physical affection, fastidiousness, inability to feed himself, and echolalia, Gilman realized these were "uncontrollable manifestations of a disorder," namely hyperlexia. Falsely reassured by their well-intentioned pediatrician, the couple finally sought professional therapists, and after they relocated to Poughkeepsie, N.Y., where both got teaching jobs at Vassar, Benj made marvelous progress in school. Throughout her narrative, Gilman extracts from many of Wordsworth's poems, which comment on innocence and loss and gave Gilman tremendous succor during Benjamin's early development, making for both charming and studious reading. Her thoughtful memoir involves the breakup of her marriage, rejection of an academic career, and move to New York City to work in her mother's literary agency as much as it delves lyrically into the rare, complex mind of the unusual child."
When I read the description of this book, I immediately downloaded it on my Kindle and started reading with abandon. I "liked" the author on Facebook, I read her blog. Her son sounded more like Henry than any other child I have read about in the countless books I have read and half-read about Asperger's and hyperlexia. To be honest, as I raced through the text, her son reminded me eerily of Henry in many ways. Her reaction to noticing his differences was so familiar, and I could relate in many ways to being caught off-guard by this completely alternate parenting universe that had opened up and swallowed our family.
I can't say that I really liked the book, or that I could recommend the book, however. To be fair, my aversion came over time, and it was near the end of the fast and furious reading I was doing that I realized a few things:
1. I was, quite literally, skipping over all her chatter about Wordsworth, romantic poetry, allusions to literature, meaningful metaphor, etc., because they seemed, frankly, contrived. It had begun to remind me of something that seemed like a great idea, one you hatch in those moments of academic passion and work over and over in your head to the point that the brilliance of that tiny spark has been lost. Not because that spark wasn't brilliant, but because you have just taken it too far, and have stretched it too thin. It reminded me, in many ways, of my Master's thesis, or many of the "brilliant-at-the-time" papers and projects from college.
2. I like to think of myself as a potential writer. This book was precisely the kind of thing I'd write. Starkly, it demonstrated to me all the reasons it's not the best idea for a mama, who is very smart and well-read, but who doesn't have anything genuinely insightful and fresh to say, to write a book. It got kind of boring. I'll explain why below.
3. It was absolutely a memoir. Full stop. I think on some level I was expecting a memoir that also had genuinely valuable and insightful information for me as a parent of a similarly situated child, or something universal and profound. Maybe that was in there and I missed it since I didn't connect with the Wordsworth, but it was most certainly a memoir. Maybe I'm too close to the feelings to see how they are universal, or to feel touched in more than a "dear lord, that's us" sort of way. I wanted it to be more than a memoir, and it wasn't. The author seems like an incredibly lovely person, but it's really just a cut above what I write in my head as I fall asleep at night (with more literary allusions, which do make it far more intelligent than what happens in my head, but not necessarily more interesting).
4. My complex relationship with social media has really complicated my relationship with this book. I think I liked the book better right when I finished it, in part because I had not gotten daily updates, quotes, gushing reviews, and media clips posted by the author to her Facebook page. Again, she seems like a genuinely lovely person (she personally responded to me when I sent her a note saying that I related to her experience because our sons were so similar), but there is something about having daily updates, quotes, book tour updates, and even personal contact that makes me feel even more like this was just like the book that I had rolling around in my head, but she had the mom who is a literary agent so she got to write it. I've said on many occasions that even though I feel like all the stuff in my head is brilliant, the reality of it is that no one needs to hear all that, and I kind of feel like the filter would be a benefit here, but her mom got her a book deal.
5. (For the record, I get the hypocrisy of blogging about my feelings about this book, and I really get the hypocrisy that is what follows.) My own wish to have the book have some kind of resolution for her son, or for her, made me feel stressed out when it never came. She found peace in not having a solid diagnosis, and accepting his differences, and modifying her life in ways she never expected; but I couldn't get there with her. I was looking for some peace for myself, through her experience, but I wanted it to be reassurance that her son is OK, that he is doing great, and that Henry will do great too. It was like the book wasn't romantic enough for me in the end, and like I wanted reassurances or tips that would somehow get my family to a place of peace. I felt her when she wrote about the fear and the bitterness, and the frustration and confusion early on in her journey with her son, but it's as though she lost me somewhere around my own real-time experience. And now, with the updates and whatnot, I have no interest in her real-time experience, because I don't want that to be my destination.
In may ways, refusing to give solid definitions and diagnoses to her son, or to the challenges he has, Gilman does contribute a genuinely helpful (if maddening) portrait of the "spectrum" of autism, and all it's related disorders, syndromes, "-isms," "-ias." Definitions are crude tools, and it is a continuum that defies easy labels, even when your child seems to be displaying textbook symptoms. Give it a couple of days, and something will fall out of place. It is a puzzle, a spectrum, it's complex and annoying all at once.
Like I said, I didn't really like the book, and I can't really recommend it because I didn't really like it, but at the same time... it's stuck in my head, and I can relate more than I want to. Maybe that means it's good, and i am just cranky. Certainly possible with this one.
Next week: Lighter fare reviewed! I'm deciding between the apocolyptic vampire-zombie book and delightfully cheesy British murder mystery... Or possibly Cormac McCarthy. We'll see what inspires.
The Anti-Romantic Child: A Story of Unexpected Joy
by Priscilla Gilman
Just because I am way out of practice, here is the blurb to give you a sense of what I was walking into reading this book: "The daughter of literary agent Lynn Nesbit and the late theater drama critic Richard Gilman crafts a beautifully sinuous and intensely literary celebration of the exceptional, unconventional child. Her son, Benjamin, was born when she and her academic husband, Richard, were in graduate school at Yale, where she was still working on her dissertation on the Romantic English poet William Wordsworth. As "Benj" grew older and failed to hit the usual milestones of children his age, exhibiting brilliant but "odd" behavior such as an obsession with numbers, aversion to physical affection, fastidiousness, inability to feed himself, and echolalia, Gilman realized these were "uncontrollable manifestations of a disorder," namely hyperlexia. Falsely reassured by their well-intentioned pediatrician, the couple finally sought professional therapists, and after they relocated to Poughkeepsie, N.Y., where both got teaching jobs at Vassar, Benj made marvelous progress in school. Throughout her narrative, Gilman extracts from many of Wordsworth's poems, which comment on innocence and loss and gave Gilman tremendous succor during Benjamin's early development, making for both charming and studious reading. Her thoughtful memoir involves the breakup of her marriage, rejection of an academic career, and move to New York City to work in her mother's literary agency as much as it delves lyrically into the rare, complex mind of the unusual child."
When I read the description of this book, I immediately downloaded it on my Kindle and started reading with abandon. I "liked" the author on Facebook, I read her blog. Her son sounded more like Henry than any other child I have read about in the countless books I have read and half-read about Asperger's and hyperlexia. To be honest, as I raced through the text, her son reminded me eerily of Henry in many ways. Her reaction to noticing his differences was so familiar, and I could relate in many ways to being caught off-guard by this completely alternate parenting universe that had opened up and swallowed our family.
I can't say that I really liked the book, or that I could recommend the book, however. To be fair, my aversion came over time, and it was near the end of the fast and furious reading I was doing that I realized a few things:
1. I was, quite literally, skipping over all her chatter about Wordsworth, romantic poetry, allusions to literature, meaningful metaphor, etc., because they seemed, frankly, contrived. It had begun to remind me of something that seemed like a great idea, one you hatch in those moments of academic passion and work over and over in your head to the point that the brilliance of that tiny spark has been lost. Not because that spark wasn't brilliant, but because you have just taken it too far, and have stretched it too thin. It reminded me, in many ways, of my Master's thesis, or many of the "brilliant-at-the-time" papers and projects from college.
2. I like to think of myself as a potential writer. This book was precisely the kind of thing I'd write. Starkly, it demonstrated to me all the reasons it's not the best idea for a mama, who is very smart and well-read, but who doesn't have anything genuinely insightful and fresh to say, to write a book. It got kind of boring. I'll explain why below.
3. It was absolutely a memoir. Full stop. I think on some level I was expecting a memoir that also had genuinely valuable and insightful information for me as a parent of a similarly situated child, or something universal and profound. Maybe that was in there and I missed it since I didn't connect with the Wordsworth, but it was most certainly a memoir. Maybe I'm too close to the feelings to see how they are universal, or to feel touched in more than a "dear lord, that's us" sort of way. I wanted it to be more than a memoir, and it wasn't. The author seems like an incredibly lovely person, but it's really just a cut above what I write in my head as I fall asleep at night (with more literary allusions, which do make it far more intelligent than what happens in my head, but not necessarily more interesting).
4. My complex relationship with social media has really complicated my relationship with this book. I think I liked the book better right when I finished it, in part because I had not gotten daily updates, quotes, gushing reviews, and media clips posted by the author to her Facebook page. Again, she seems like a genuinely lovely person (she personally responded to me when I sent her a note saying that I related to her experience because our sons were so similar), but there is something about having daily updates, quotes, book tour updates, and even personal contact that makes me feel even more like this was just like the book that I had rolling around in my head, but she had the mom who is a literary agent so she got to write it. I've said on many occasions that even though I feel like all the stuff in my head is brilliant, the reality of it is that no one needs to hear all that, and I kind of feel like the filter would be a benefit here, but her mom got her a book deal.
5. (For the record, I get the hypocrisy of blogging about my feelings about this book, and I really get the hypocrisy that is what follows.) My own wish to have the book have some kind of resolution for her son, or for her, made me feel stressed out when it never came. She found peace in not having a solid diagnosis, and accepting his differences, and modifying her life in ways she never expected; but I couldn't get there with her. I was looking for some peace for myself, through her experience, but I wanted it to be reassurance that her son is OK, that he is doing great, and that Henry will do great too. It was like the book wasn't romantic enough for me in the end, and like I wanted reassurances or tips that would somehow get my family to a place of peace. I felt her when she wrote about the fear and the bitterness, and the frustration and confusion early on in her journey with her son, but it's as though she lost me somewhere around my own real-time experience. And now, with the updates and whatnot, I have no interest in her real-time experience, because I don't want that to be my destination.
In may ways, refusing to give solid definitions and diagnoses to her son, or to the challenges he has, Gilman does contribute a genuinely helpful (if maddening) portrait of the "spectrum" of autism, and all it's related disorders, syndromes, "-isms," "-ias." Definitions are crude tools, and it is a continuum that defies easy labels, even when your child seems to be displaying textbook symptoms. Give it a couple of days, and something will fall out of place. It is a puzzle, a spectrum, it's complex and annoying all at once.
Like I said, I didn't really like the book, and I can't really recommend it because I didn't really like it, but at the same time... it's stuck in my head, and I can relate more than I want to. Maybe that means it's good, and i am just cranky. Certainly possible with this one.
Next week: Lighter fare reviewed! I'm deciding between the apocolyptic vampire-zombie book and delightfully cheesy British murder mystery... Or possibly Cormac McCarthy. We'll see what inspires.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Back from ASA...
...updates, book reviews, musings, ranting, knitting, and more to come soon. It was a long, long four days, but awesome. Toby starts "school" tomorrow, and Henry and I will be hanging out a lot, trying to be mellow and productive, all at once. It should be interesting. But now, sleeeeeep!! Hooray!
------
Sent from my iPhone.
http://hamstocks.blogspot.com/
http://radicalmamalaw.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Wordless Wednesday: ASA Conference, Day One.
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