Even baby boys.

I'm not sure if it's the covers, or the location of the shelf-space in which they reside, but my kids seem to have a deep love for bell hooks. Here is Toby, in his favorite reading chair, proving that feminism really is for everybody.



(This doesn't mean that anyone can label her or himself a feminist spouting of whatever they want - Mrs. Palin, ahem, I am casting a sideways glance at you - but it does mean that yes, feminism really is for everybody. Or that it ought to be.)

Operation Psychotic Potty Training Bootcamp to commence in three days...

It's all planned. Bret is taking Toby to Tampa for the day (overnight?) and Henry and I are getting down to the business of potty training in serious form. I'm terrified, both of the exhaustion we will both be feeling (the plan involves nothing but potty talk and lots of running around and practicing running to the potty) and the emotional drain nonstop potty talk will have on my psyche.

Aside: if potty talk is TMI, deal. Skip it. Move on. The title should have tipped you off, really really.

I'm hoping it is the magic bullet. Henry does not fear the potty, and is happy to pee on whatever big or small toilet is available, just not on his own, and definitely not to the exclusion of peeing in a diaper. Poop, well, we just can't even go there yet.

I'm done with having two kids in diapers. Done. I spend hours (OK, sometimes it's not just me - other caregivers are involved too) every day getting way too intimate with bodily functions, especially on the wonderful days when both boys poo like four times.

I'm fully going back to a controversial book written in the seventies for this one. I need to get supplies (anyone know where to get a doll that pees when you give it water?) and make a plan and get snacks and treats and drinks. Oh, and spend the next few days depriving Henry of yummy snacks and drinks to make them tasty.

In addition, we have stuff to DO this weekend, so this really better work in the day they promise. I'm pessimistic. This is not the best way to go into the experiment, so I'm also working on getting myself pumped up. If anyone cates to offer a cash prize as motivation for mama, feel free to make an offer. Like a small chd, I respond positively to rewards.

I'll update, if I'm not too traumatized at the end if the whole thing.

Mama and the boys

Mama and the boys
Originally uploaded by Bret, Virginia, Henry, and Toby

Yup, that's us.

Have you checked us out lately?

I tend to update on the boys over here:
The Hamstock Family

Occasionally, these silly little updates take over my world, explaining the dearth of coherent, adult thoughts recorded here. One day, you'll be sick of my adult ramblings, I swear.

In the meanwhile, enjoy my adorable kids.

Testing, testing, 1-2-3, testing

I'm sending this put from the iPhone, which is kind of exciting. This might mean more posts, but I can't promise anything. Just try it and see...

Seriously, hands are full.

I wish I could formulate something of value. I can't, both because I am stretched obscenely thin and because both boys are vying for attention even now. But I did get that iPhone, so here is some of that video I can shoot and post on the fly... this is great fun. But back to the mama work I do...

Mother's Day

This year, I am trying to find peace and joy in Mother' Day. So instead of trying to get all intellectual or confessional this weekend, I will just paste. Because mamas are connected, because I'm a mama who loves peace, and because I love other mamas who love peace.

Mother's Day Proclamation, 1870, by Julia Ward Howe

Arise, then, women of this day!

Arise, all women who have hearts,
Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!

Say firmly:
"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

And also, Marylynn, I miss you so much.

Open Letter to the Man in a Speedo Doing Yoga in the Sauna at the Gym

Dear Man in a Speedo Doing Yoga at the Gym,

I'm not sure what you were thinking. Let's break it down:

1. There is a HUGE sign on the sauna door that says "This space is for relaxation, not exercise."

2. You are older, quite flabby, and wearing only a Speedo that might have fit you properly thirty pounds ago.

3. The moves you were doing were giving you a wedgie (forward folds), or exposing way too much of your package (backbends).

4. The twists, while relaxing I am sure, threw your sweat all over everyone sitting within three feet of your little space in the front. Where we could not avoid looking at you.

Now, I'm not sure if you were actually just doing your thing or if you were trying to impress people with your flexibility, but I for one was not impressed. I was completely creeped out.

Please do it in the steam room next time. At least there no one can see anything.

Sincerely (and with a shudder),
Virginia

Spring is here. Seriously here.

I shot this video about a month ago. You really need to watch it in HD to see how amazing it was:

The sky was full of Sandhill Cranes for a day and a half. I wish you could hear and see them better, it was amazing. Normally you see a few in the sky, but on this day, the sky was seething. They were headed northwest, off toward the panhandle, so I began to hope that the thaw was on once and for all.

Since all those cranes headed northwest that day, we've had no frost, even though we've had to wear sweaters a few days. I didn't plant anything until a bit after I saw these birds in the sky, but I have not had to run outside with the sheets or fret about tender new shoots. Spring is here, and it is grand.

I'm nosy.

Just an FYI. I love that one can figure out just about anything with the help of Google and an Internet connection. Honestly, how on earth did nosy nellies like me get by in previous decades?

I also love that the very same resources can teach me the meaning of slang, help learn obscure movie and music references, and generally keep me from coming off as unhip most of the time. Even though I totally am.

Internet, I raise my Guinness to you today, just because you are awesome.

No, I'm hip because I know people with style.

I may not look stylish 95% of the time, but I do know people who are incredibly fashionable. I do know when things are stylish and should have a Fashion Police badge, I just can't seem to get it together. An excellent example of "Do as I say not as I do."

My sister-in-law Meredith looks good all the time, and she is also crafty and funny. Best part, she writes The Lovely Owl, and shares her good taste and good humor with everyone.

Get yourself there quick, she is doing a fun give away, but you have to read this post before FRIDAY (that's tomorrow, so scoot!).

Am I not hip since I still want a Kindle? Oh well.

So the iPad has been unveiled. There are commercials and everything. It's pretty cool, but I still think I really want a Kindle.

I suppose that the sexy touchscreen would be fun, and having what is essentially a little laptop would be awesome. The color screen is indeed pretty. But no. I really REALLY want the Kindle.

I have been reading a lot lately. Ok, "a lot" for me given the babes to constantly cuddle. I've also started cleaning out my bookcases, and have discovered that I really don't need to hang on to so many of the paperbacks I have enjoyed over time. Sure, I might read something again someday, but I'm not referencing things, generally not passing them along to others, and not finding better storage. I tend to read, shelf, and eventually donate a LOT of paper.

The concept of digital books, therefore, fits right on into my world beautifully. I love the idea of toting around a smallish device and being able to read books, blogs, papers, whatever. Oh, and I love the samples, the mobile downloads, and the storage. I love that all these books sync with your iPod/iPhone and that you can get classics for free. Love all these things, which are essentially equal on all these devices.

The Kindle has me won, though, and here are the reasons why:

1. I love that screen. When I played with my sister-in-law's Kindle, I was amazed with how easy it was to read that non-lit screen. Sunshine? Sure! Pictures? Great in black and white. It is really cool, really easy on the eyes, and much mote like reading a book than a computer screen. I have not seen the iPad in person, but reading on the iPod touch is a little hard. Oh, and forget about it in the sunshine.

2. Eventually, I am sure I will get an iPhone. My future iPhone will do just about everything the iPad will do, and I won't want to tote around two similar devices. Or pay for monthly service for both, which brings me to...

3. The Kindle's upfront price includes the mobile access to downloads and updates in 3G. I love this. I think spending the $250- $500 is worth it, just to have both the hardware and the connection all at once. Not adding another monthly bill to my life = super-big plus.

Don't get me wrong. I'm an Apple lady. I am writing this on the iPod we got for our two-year-old. I love this thing, which makes me believe that the iPad will be awesome for those who want a "laptop light" to tote around. But I have an iBook. I want a reading machine so I can have fewer silverfish in my life, and read the rest of the three very cool books I have thusfar previewed.

I love that reading is back on my life, and can't wait to get cracking. Now, I just need that Kindle...


Sent from Henry's iPod

Small victory

That dude who walks across my yard every day around 4:30pm, remember him? He took the sidewalk today. I'd like to think it's because I walked outside and fully busted him last week (I just looked puzzled and said, "Um, hello?"), but it's probably because it's raining. No one wants to walk across wet grass/leaves. I have not been stoked about this very cold, very heavy rain all day today, but right now I love it.

Food issues.

I have been reading again, which is awesome. My current book is Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life. I've also recently read Food Rules: An Eater's Manual. Between the two, I'm settling in on a new way of looking at food, and hoping it will help bring more love to our table and a little less bulk to my behind.

I think I learned many of the lessons in those pages long ago, but have managed to put many of them aside. Eating "cheap" and "convenient" has, over time, warped my tastebuds and my perceptions of how one should enjoy food, and I am really looking forward to getting back to basics, back to local, back to a more sustainable food life. Lest you think I grew up eating only local and natural, let me clarify: this food business racket had me from the beginning. Those packaged solutions to dilemmas have been around for a long time, and I am definitely in the crowd of those who have been taken (even though I have tried to resist, at least from time to time, on certain points anyway).

Getting back to basics is something I had been working on while I was nursing Toby, since I could eat no soy, and the soy industry has managed to get itself a little piece of about 80% of the processed foods, both organic and conventional. Rather than truly finding a peaceful, process-free zone, however, I craved what I could not have and found the few processed items I could eat, and ate them up like crazy.

This spring it's time for rebirth. We're planting a garden, a really awesome garden, that will hopefully give us many of our veggies. We are making a plan to shop the farmer's markets, and plan food around ingredients rather than buy the ingredients around our meal plans. We will eat local as much as we can, and we will eat in season. We may have to deviate to accommodate Henry's love of fruit, but we will do it as rarely as we can manage. We will eat food, not "edible food-like products," and will make things from scratch.

It will be work, but it will be work that brings life to the house. I can think of nothing better than food prepared with love, so making it a priority will be our new priority.

I'm also giving up coupons. Of course, I will be happy to use them if we happen to find one for something we already use, but there will be none of this shopping-around-the-coupons fr our house anymore. The food industry, together with chemical companies, are a manipulative bunch. The lure of saving a dollar on something I would never otherwise buy has gotten me in the past, and I have a cabinet of cleaners and a pantry with some odd processed food items to prove it. Perhaps one of the best lessons embedded in Animal, Vegetable, Miracle is that "cheap food" from industrial sources is a myth. We are paying far more, both in real dollars and in costs to health and community, supporting that low price tag in the store.

I sound a little bit "holier-than-thou" right? OK, more than a little. I know. I'll get back to you after I have tried to convince my 3 year old that fish sticks aren't the best dinner...

Open letter to They Might Be Giants

Dear TMBG,

Your music for kids is great. Henry can't get enough of Here Comes Science right now, and it's pretty amusing to hear him talking about Hydrogen, Helium, Carbon, Nitrogen... you know, all those things on the surface of the sun.

Chances are I would be pulling my hair out in clumps if he were demanding Wee Sing albums on repeat, but your stuff is fun for me too.

I would appreciate a few more CDs, asap.

Even though all three you've made so far are great, we have nearly worn them out listening to them every.single.time. we get into the car. On repeat. Repeat. REPEAT!

No matter how cute and clever and catchy a song may be, it gets old after the 500th time you've played it. In a week.

So please, PLEASE, something new. Consider it a personal favor, from one who loved you way back when you were all about Triangle Man.

Thanks, Virginia

Baking = precision. Or not.

Today is Henry's third birthday, which is awesome. He's adorable, and enjoying everything so far, which included cheesy toast and apples in the living room for breakfast, presents, and a taste of the cupcakes I made for his class.

This taste was a requirement, because I was frankly considering bailing on them altogether and buying something at Publix on the way to school. The baking did not really go my way last night.

The difference between baking and cooking is precision. I used to be really into baking mainly because I loved this attention to detail, nit-picky measurements, clean execution... It was like photography, or cleaning the bathroom. The details matter, and when you do it right, everything looks amazing. There is a sense of accomplishment that is pretty awesome when it all works out, and you get used to scrapping it if it doesn't work out, which can be disappointing, but helps build that high for the good times.

Now I am into cooking, with all of the tweaking and sloppiness that comes along with putting together a flavorful soup or a great roast chicken. Or both, from the same bird. Scrapping together bits of this and that has become fun, and trying to make something out of whatever is lying around the pantry is its own fun challenge. I like recipes, but I also take them with a grain of salt, give or take. I like having people cook at my house, and then stealing the idea of a dish, and making it my own thing. I like that, generally, a minute here or there doesn't make or break dinner, and food is forgiving.

I made these cupcakes from Martha Stewart for Henry today, thinking that they would be a healthier alternative to chocolate buttercream madness. We'll see what the verdict is from the 3 year olds, but I have my doubts. They are glorified muffins. They would be delicious breakfast treats without the icing, which is beyond sweet. Never test a recipe the night before... remember this, self.

So I'm not the Martha Stewart of baking anymore. I'm not the Martha Stewart of anything, although I did make mustaches for the kids and teachers from felt, dowels, and hot glue, and that was something.

I've decided I am more Amy Sedaris. I like entertaining, but not so much precision or fanciness. I like fanciness, but not in an actually-fancy way. Look, just read about it. Her book is like my bible, I use it all. the. time. Seriously. I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence.

So Happy Birthday Henry! Take 2 will be Sunday afternoon, I will make better cupcakes, I promise.

Open Letter to Telephones

Dear telephones,

I hate you.

Sincerely,
Virginia

Where have you been?

I know that one of my resolutions for the "real" New Year was to be better about posting, and I am trying. However, I have to admit that I have been up to other things. Like making the stark (and ugly) wall behind the cabinets in the dining room into a magnetic chalkboard to keep the kids occupied (and near, but out of, the kitchen). Pictures and discussion of this project to come someday soon...

What has been really cool since I got back from my retreat is that I have felt inspired again. I've been reading (finished a whole book and started another, shock-and-surprise!), organizing, and even doing projects. We've rearranged the rooms in the house, creating a playroom, an adult room, a craft space, and a nursery for Toby. I did the chalkboard project from start to finish. I've got several projects in the works, and I am actually finding the time to do them, and to *enjoy* them.

For today, I am taking inventory of these projects that are in the pipeline, the crafty ones I have found online anyway, and thought I would share my these aspirations (and also give myself a great list to reference when I am feeling lost in the shuffle).

Making Felt Play Food. Thanks to Amy S. for passing this great reference along, and making some prototypes to get me inspired! (I found your lost strawberry, by the way. Henry was trying to eat it this morning.)

Learning to Quilt. This picnic blanket looks like an excellent beginner project. And now I hang out with a very clever mama who knows how to properly quilt, so I will be hitting her up for lessons. (Surprise, Meaghan! I forgot to mention that, huh?)

Make this play mail bag. It's awesome.

Make something fun for Toby. This soft counting book is fantastic, and I think Henry might even get into helping Toby learn numbers.

Make my own grocery/gift/tote bags. Very helpful tutorials and patterns can be found here and here. I'm pretty excited, both because these bags will be fairly easy and quick projects I can manage as I get better at sewing AND because they will be very, very cool.

Make something cute for me. I like this little pin jar, and I am going to make it for myself. If it works out, all the seamstresses I know may be getting one as a gift this year. Goodness knows we have plenty of baby food jars around this place!

I have a couple of very *very* cool projects that I am *super* excited about, but I don't want to post about them precisely because they are going to be gifts. That is, they will be gifts if I can get it together before December...

I'm not trying to be judgmental, but...

There are three people that have me completely weirded out. I kind of desperately want to stop them and say, "What the heck?!!" but in two of the three cases, that will definitely never happen, and it's unlikely in the third. So here's my beef:

Case #1: The walking lady

Since I moved to Gainesville almost seven years ago, I constantly see this woman walking around all over town. She is short and slight, always well-dressed in long sleeves, pants, boots, a hat, sunglasses, and a backpack. She is most certainly not homeless. I usually see her on the west side of town, walking around between larger shopping areas. If you are familiar with Gainesville, however, you'll know that walking around the west side of town is unheard of because things are miles and miles apart.

At first I kind of assumed that she had cancer, and was doing a lot of healthy exercising. I have no idea if she DOES have hair, but you can't see it under her hat. She's always kind of smiling, and has a spring in her step, so I always figured she was doing something healthy and positive for herself. Then I started to think that she was anorexic, because she is very, very thin. And when I say I see her walking all the time, I mean all the time. I'd see her at 8am, I'd see her at noon, then run into her again at 5. These sightings are not rare; I'd say I saw her every day when I lived and/or worked out that way, and now see her about every third time I get over there for an errand.

I'm completely nosy, and have no reason to make any of the assumptions about her that I do, but there it is.

Case #2: The walking man

There is a guy who I am a little worried about. Whenever it is above 70 degrees out, I see him walking my neighborhood. He's all dressed in a sweatsuit, hood up, and seems to even be wearing some kind of wrap beneath the sweats (you can see it on his hands to his fingers). When I say "above 70 degrees), I mean middle of the afternoon heat in Gainesville - he's out walking all wrapped up. Again, I suspect anorexia. Or boxing. And again, I want to ask, but never will.

Case #3: Dude walking across my lawn, every damn day

I know that we do not keep our lawn tidy and neat, neat and tidy, and we don't have a fence. I know that we live on a corner lot, which means that cutting across our lawn cuts off the extra 50 feet you have to walk if you go to the corner. But dude, what the heck? You have to notice that we are sitting inside, we have a HUGE WINDOW in the front of our house. Henry and I sit there and watch you every day.

How does one tell a guy walking across your lawn that he is being a jerk? Bret doesn't think it's a big deal, but then he saw the guy do it today, and agreed that it's weird. In this case, I may have to say something, but I have no idea how that conversation will go... any thoughts for me?

My New Year

My 2010 is starting today.

I just got the time to be still and think about what things I want to change in the new year, so my resolutions start now. Or tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow.

I could make very specific goals (I do have a few of those in the back pocket), but I prefer the top two lofty ideas I came up with while I was in my little bubble this weekend.

1. Practice being present.
Yes, this is kind of cheesy, but suck it. I've been ridiculously stressed out, and freaked out, about all the things falling through the cracks, and all the scary possibilities that loom in the potential futures. Anxiety begets anxiety, and it has, quite frankly, paralyzed me in many ways. I could make my resolution getting back into yoga, because the practice of presence was precisely what had me hooked on it years ago, but it's not just yoga. My goal is, in fact, to bring myself into the moment and enjoy the process, rather than just focusing on an end and worrying about getting there.

2. Patience.
I need more of it, pretty much all the time. When Henry was a tiny baby, I remember being more patient than I ever imagined I could be. (I have no idea if I was delusional, or even if I am just remembering it wrong. The chances of either being true are excellent.) I have not found that same well of patience since Toby's birth, and have found myself looking back over a day or a week, wishing I had been more patient and not acted as I did. I'm not yet sure how to remind myself to find patience in the moment, and I'm not getting a tattoo (I love Christine's though).

I figure that by actively incorporating presence and patience into my life, I will also be more attentive and kind, and really enjoy the pure love of my family. I'm also hoping to focus more attention on my life, and do some of the little things for myself and my family that I have been wanting to do for ages. (See back pocket list for details.) It will mean turning off the TV and computer more, buying less, creating more things from scratch, and learning how to incorporate the kids into activities like cooking, cleaning, and gardening. All of this will be good for all of us.

So, Happy New Year to me! I'll let you know how it's going.