I know I'm late to the discussion that has exploded in recent months, in part because I have been super busy, in part because I have a lot to say, and in part because I'm not terribly excited about trying to sort through all the issues. Breastfeeding is such a personal thing, and such a touchy thing - but I can't help myself.
I'll start by saying breastfeeding is great. I was a poster-child for breastfeeding. Literally. Huge photo of my mom breastfeeding me was part of the decor for the 1979 Year of the Child at the United Nations in NYC. My mom was hardcore Le Leche League, so nursing has always been how you feed a baby in my world. But, thanks to forces outside my control (nature? genetics? hormones in livestock?), I grew into some huge knockers, developed back problems, and decided to get breast reduction surgery when I was about 22. Oh my golly day, what freedom! Ye of small boobs, you have no idea how good you have it. I am still completely happy with my decision (and will likely have it again after I am done making babies if these things stick around, which seems to be what's happening...), but it meant that I had to deal with some serious physical and emotional issues when it came to feeding my baby.
Because I have this sort of bizarre perspective, I've really been interested in reading the recent articles that have been bashing breastfeeding. It seems like the first punch (in this round, anyway) was thrown by Hanna Rosin in the Atlantic with her piece The Case Against Breastfeeding. The title makes it sound a bit more inflammatory than it actually is, but it absolutely does challenge the notion that breastmilk is demonstrably better for babies, and does deconstruct breastfeeding culture in interesting ways. As this piece in Mother Jones by Debra Dickerson highlights, Rosin's article takes issue with the ways that breastfeeding culture has come to represent a new feminine ideal into which we must shove ourselves, dismissing the real impact that the work of breastfeeding has on mothers while whitewashing the physical and emotional demands as part of an idealized connection that a mother neglects if she does not breastfeed. Judith Warner puts a slightly different spin on the same point, proclaiming in her blog for the New York Times "Ban the Breastpump." She makes a stark argument that mothers of young babies should get more time off, have fewer demands, and be able to choose how to feed their baby without having to live like they are a dairy cow. She points out that we've fetishized breast MILK as a commodity that is best for babies, while devaluing mothers' presence with babies and making even more fervent demands of mothers' time for everything else in life.
I can't really argue with these points. I have to admit that part of the stress I had as a new mother stemmed from my guilt at not being able to exclusively breastfeed, and my feeling of inadequacy when I couldn't handle keeping up the impossible schedule of pumping, nursing, and feeding Henry formula for the first month. Honestly, feeding him formula completely freaked me out. I tried to time my arrival at mommy groups around his feeding schedule so I didn't have to give him a bottle in public. I felt like I had to explain to perfect strangers why I wasn't nursing, why I wasn't able to nurse, and how badly I felt about it.
And yet.
Breastfeeding is great. Breast milk is pretty incredible. After a friend of mine died just a few days after giving birth, I helped organize mamas to donate breast milk for her new baby, and I can't help but feel like that was important and special for her baby's early life. I'm glad so many women are committed to breastfeeding, and I am glad that there is a breastfeeding culture around me to make it an option for so many women. I want more real education for medical staff (see a great discussion about why this is important here).
For me, it's a complex thing. I guess it's tough to negotiate creating an environment that is sufficiently supportive of breastfeeding while also allowing moms to make truly informed choices about what will work best for them and their babies. Do we really need to make the case that breastfeeding is NOT great to give moms all their options? Why can't we have a blanced discussion that doesn't get entrenched in X is better than Y, period? Why aren't we asking more probing questions about the weight that we place on mothers to be absent from their babies? And why aren't we OK if moms choose to work away from their babies and pass along the feeding responsibilities to others (and don't pump)? Why aren't we talking about whether there is a new cult of true womanhood, and what this means for women's lives? And why aren't we working harder to protect women's ability to make choices about where and how to feed their babies? Or fighting to protect their ability to keep their jobs regardless of how they have decided to feed their babies?
So yeah. My contribution to the ongoing war of words.
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