The past two days I've been mostly sick in bed. I got some flu-type thing that knocked me out, and it's been killing me to listen to my babies cry for me, or even play nicely, because all I want to do is cuddle them. Mind you, it's mostly because I am stuck in bed and have been forbidden from touching them that I want cuddles oh so bad, but hey.
I've been sleeping a LOT, and watching complete crap on tv (seriously, this Nancy Grace woman is INSANE, but the remote is broken and I was really and truly ill). I've also been reading and knitting, but mostly sleeping and lying about feeling like my body is breaking. Opposite of awesome.
All this rest has made me feel better. I'm not 100%, and frankly am a little scared to be tackling tomorrow on my own again, but I feel waaaaay better. Problem: all this rest plus feeling better equals really intense insomnia. Like the third trimester kind when you are so tired most of the time you want to collapse, but your brain just keeps racing in the wee hours of the night and you feel a wee bit mental. I want to be sleeping! I'm
tired, sort of, but I can't make it work.
So I'm up, making lists, writing blog posts, thinking and thinking, knowing I'll be too exhausted in the morning to do much of anything on my lists, and generally feeling silly. And a little hungry. Actually, quite hungry. I swear I'm not pregnant!
It's nights like this that I think of all the projects I need or want to do, the good parenting things I should be doing, the letters I should write, the calls I should make, the life changes I want to make, the books I want to read, and all the the information I need to learn or relearn. I think of all of it and stress out, and make myself exhausted in the morning, and likely don't help finish kicking that flu, and end up in a rut nonetheless. Nothing gets done. It stinks.
So, if you see me, ask me what I've checked off my list that day - I need to do one thing a day, that's a reasonable goal, yes? Keep me honest people... I need the push. You have been letting me get away with shirking my Wednesday and weekend goals, I know, but I need a good kick.
Merci, in advance and all.
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Musings of a mother and former radical lawyer, who's very busy working it all out.
Radical Mama
- Radical Mama
- Gainesville, FL, United States
- Radical Mama: I'm a full-time mama, a non-practicing civil rights attorney, a knitter, a reader, and sometimes-writer. I have two boys: Henry and Toby. Both have quirks and unique needs, but are sweet, hilarious, smart, and so rad.
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