Breathe...

This morning got off to a pretty good start. Our new coffee maker is making yummy coffee -- the other one died unexpectedly. the oats I soaked cooked up in time for breakfast and oatmeal was pretty good, though I need to work on my technique. Henry wanted seconds. He settled for an apple. We made it to speech therapy on time, and Toby was pretty good in the waiting room do I got some paperwork done. The kids ate all the graham crackers I brought for their snack, but we stopped and got them apple juice and I got a little latte. I was all ready for yoga - across town, sure, but it fit the schedule and there is free child care.

And then it hit me.

I forgot my mat.

Oh crap. We are across town. We might be able to go home and get the mat, but the kids are already on the edge of freaking out about going to kids club at the gym - not stoked. Tolerating the idea.

I fumble through obnoxious screens and get the gym on the phone - "do you have yoga mats?!? I forgot mine!" the nice employee said that they do have mats upstairs, they just aren't the same size or material as the yoga may I'm used to. "So like the exercise mats for abs classes? The foam ones that are short?" yes, she says, that's the kind! I can use one of those!

Crap. Slippery, short mats don't work for crap. I could go mat-less, but I'm not sure what this class entails, and many of these gym classes would be rough with no mat.

I tell the kids my dilemma. They say, "let's go home and do yoga!" which is awesome. Until I realize that they will want to do yoga for ten minutes. I want to do it for 90 minutes.

See, last night I went to the first yoga class that I have managed to drag myself to in months. Many months. It was rad. I remembered why I try to go all the time. I found every class possible for the weeks ahead, determined to make yoga take the place of coca-cola in my life. Filling that joy, compulsion, crazy love part of my brain. Hopefully, letting sinking back into yoga shrink my ass. I'm pumped and ready.

So by the time we got home, the kids were driving me crazy in the back trying to get me to watch dances and guess which OK Go video the move comes from, breaking eyeglasses, freaking out over dropped toys, lost graham crackers, refusing water. I said, I am going to get my mat. Henry totally lost it. Got out of his seatbelt. Screamed and cried and hid from me so I couldn't put him back in his car seat. Effffffff.

Fine, no yoga class. Yoga inside. And that lasted thirty seconds.

Screaming fights over dominoes. And I Spy books. Shouting, shoving. Jumping on the couch. Throwing things across the room. Who the hell are these small crazy monkeys screeching and wrecking my house? Demanding bananas (eff you Elmo, showing snacks on your show right before lunch. Effff. You.).

I'm at the end of my rope and it's not even noon. I really, really, *really* needed yoga this morning. We have a skipped nap for Toby, a doctors appointment for Henry, and a lovely playdate late this afternoon. Breathe...

Breathe.